I turned to look at the TV where a handsome, smug Hunter had joined Karen in front of the camera. He wasn’t even pushing her off while she was being all touchy-feely either.
Was something going on between them?
“Gold-digging squid,” Ida said. “They’re playing dirty. And that’s why you need to too.”
“I barely have the time to run a normal campaign,” I said, drinking another gulp of wine.
“I know!” Ida said happily. “That’s why I’m officially starting a super PAC for you!”
“Oh no, I don’t—”
“Need it? Of course you do. Hunter trounced you. It was embarrassing.” Ida wagged her finger. “You’re the incumbent, and he just walked all over you. No, you still need to play the wholesome do-gooder mayor. I’ll be the Hamburglar in the dark twisting his nuts while you sit on his face.”
“Uhh…”
“That’s great if you want to start a super PAC,” Kate said in a rush. “Just remember that legally we can’t coordinate with you.”
Ida tapped the side of her head and winked knowingly. “We never had this conversation.”
“This is going to be a disaster.” I groaned after Ida had left.
“You need a charcuterie platter and some more wine, and tomorrow will be a brand-new day! I already stashed one in your apartment.”
“You knew I was going to lose,” I said miserably, grabbing my purse and the keys to the station wagon.
“I didn’t know you were going to lose,” Kate insisted. “I just figured a charcuterie tray was a safe bet. If I had bought convenience-store snacks,thenI would have thought you were going to lose. A meat-and-cheese tray can go either way.” Kate climbed into the passenger’s side and wrinkled her nose. “Why does it smell like a garden pond in here?”
I pointed at the rotting ceiling of the car that was patched with duct tape. “There was a hole in the roof, and now I have a whole ecosystem growing in the back of the car.”
“Walter will buy you a car, I’m sure. I can ask him.”
“No,” I said firmly. “He’s done enough.”
Kate looked at me, bemused. “It’s not like he’s keeping some sort of score that you have to pay back of what he’s given you.”
“I know, I know.”
“He’s a billionaire. This stuff is like, I don’t know, buying you a cheeseburger or something.”
“I know how they operate,” I said bitterly. “Walter’s not the first billionaire I’ve… dated? Seen?”
“So Victorian! Mr. Darcy’s come to call!” Kate giggled.
“This better be a very nice cheese tray,” I warned.
“The best,” Kate assured me.
I was fumbling for the fob to let us into the building when Karen waltzed out.
I looked at her suspiciously. “Why are you here?”
Karen smiled triumphantly. “I live in this building. Hunter gave me an apartment here, so don’t start thinking you’re going to call your dyke police officer friend.”
“That was rude and uncalled for,” I reprimanded. “Susie is not a lesbian, not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
“I’m sure Hunter’s campaign does not want bigots in charge,” Kate added, crossing her arms.
“Good luck proving it to him,” Karen said, tossing her hair. “It’s your word, the word of a sore loser, against mine, that of a winner.” She struck a pose. “Like my dress? Hunter bought it for me. I went home to change and put on a little something to give him an extra-special after-victory party celebration.”
