The next townsperson stepped up to ask a question. It was a giggling young woman. She tipped down the microphone. “Um, so I have a question. I feel like there aren’t enough eligible men in Harrogate. Hunter, when are all your college-aged little brothers going to come back?”
“Some of them will be back over the summer to do internships,” Hunter said, “though I refuse to let them run wild around town, so I’m not sure how much of them you’ll be seeing.”
“If you do see them,” Ida added, “I sell a wide assortment of condoms in my general store. I also have the rest of my sex toy inventory that the courts haven’t seized yet, but I bet those Svensson brothers don’t need any of that!”
“Depends on how much they’ve drunk,” I said acerbically.
“Are you fucking kidding me? You never needed ‘extra help’”—Hunter made air quotes—“when you were with me, and you never will.”
“I don’t know. You’re getting on in years.”
“I’m not old!” Hunter practically shouted. “Walteris old. Walter is old enough to be your father, and yet you were on a fancy yacht with him, and you let him buy you a bag. What’s next?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he’ll break into my house, and we’ll have sex?”
“I didn’t break in.” Hunter scoffed. “You invited me.”
“Take Hunter back, Meg!” several ladies wearing Meghan The Mayor shirts begged.
“I’m sorry,” I said over the din. “Are there any policy questions? Also, Penny, were these questions not prescreened?”
“All questions are valid,” Hunter retorted.
The next person stepped up.
“Archer, sit down.”
“I have a right to ask my question!” he insisted and pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. “I want to be able to own a camel.”
“No!” Hunter and I both said at once.
“I think it’s a fine idea,” Ida said. “We could offer camel rides down Main Street. We could have a camel festival! It could happen every third Wednesday.”
“We cannot have camels running loose on Main Street.” Hunter was irritated.
“Why?” Archer demanded. “We have the chicken festival. It’s super popular!”
“I have a question,” Ida said, raising her hand.
Penny made a face. “You can’t ask a question.”
But Ida steamrolled ahead. “Meg, if you become mayor, who’s going to be your mayoral consort?”
“That’s not even a thing,” I said slowly.
“So it’s going to be Walter.” Ida made a note.
“Oooh!” the crowd murmured.
“No,” Hunter said forcefully. “That is not going to happen.”
26
Hunter
“It’s Election Day! It’s Election Day!” my little brothers yelled happily. It was four a.m.
“Why are they up?” I growled.
