Liz peeked out. “I think he’s gone.” She smirked at me.
I blushed.
“I did always think there was something there between you,” Liz said thoughtfully.
“What?” I sputtered, “Never! He and I? Our Venn diagrams do not overlap. At all, ever.”
“But you’re so discombobulated.”
“I am not!” I announced. “I am in control of my own person, and I am going to fetch your water.”
I marched back out into the kitchen.
“Holy shit!” Mark exclaimed.
I screamed. “Why are you still here?”
“Why are you still here?” he bellowed. “You don’t even live in this building.”
“I’m tending to a pregnant woman!” I shrieked at him, running to the fridge and opening it so I could peek around the door. “You’re the one who’s lurking in an apartment he doesn’t own.” I grabbed a glass bottle of fancy imported sparkling water.
“I’m not lurking.”
“You are!” I insisted. “You’re hulking and lurking and loitering and sneaking around.”
Mark opened his mouth then shut it. “You are a real piece of work,” he snarled at me.
I glared at him from around the fridge door. Well, half glared. The other part of my attention was carefully detailing the planes of his chest, because if I ignored the asshole that chest was attached to, I could admit that it was the nicest male chest I had ever seen by several orders of magnitude.
“I cannot wait until this wedding is over so I don’t have to deal with you anymore,” he spat. He turned on his heel and left.
As soon as the door slammed, I shut the fridge and sprinted back to Liz’s room. “Water,” I announced. “To quench your thirst.”
Liz raised an eyebrow as she took the bottle from me. “I’m surprised you didn’t quench your thirst with Mark, so to speak.”
I sputtered. “I don’t like him, and I especially don’t like him like that.”
“You don’t have to like him to sleep with him.”
“Isn’t he basically part of your family now?”
Liz paused mid-chug of water. “Yeah, but that’s why he’s a good option, because I know he doesn’t have women over here at all hours of the night, so he’s not crawling with STDs. He’s got all the perks of fucking a virgin but all the experience of a man who knows what he’s doing.”
“I refuse to even consider it,” I said, turning back to Liz’s dress. She wanted to wear a golden evening gown to the fundraiser. I had let out the waist earlier in the week, but Liz had called me in a panic because now she couldn’t zip the garment up.
“Is it going to work?” Liz asked as I finished sewing the panel of black lace to the back. “I was able to suck it in and fit into it five days ago, I swear.”
“You’ll look classy and elegant.”
“I don’t look janky?” She made a face at her reflection.
“Of course not,” I insisted as I pulled on my own gown. “Are you sure it’s okay if I come?”
“Of course,” Liz said. “You saved my dress; you deserve an invitation. I think you and I are, or at least were,” she patted her growing belly, “the same size. There’s a black one in there you should try. It’s pretty forgiving.”
The slinky black dress had lots of slits and cutouts. I looked at it in apprehension. “Are you sure?”
“It’s got gathering and draping in all the right places.”
