“I came here to fulfill all your wildest fantasies and fuck you into the bed until you scream,” he said in a low voice.
My mouth went dry, and my panties were immediately soaked.
“Nah, I’m just playing!” Evan said with a grin. “I’m taking your words to heart. No more bad decisions! I’m here on a wholesome mission to see my precious baby Fergus.”
The cat meowed happily and ran into Evan’s arms.
“How is my darling kitty? Yes, I’ve had a hard day, and I just needed some Fergus love.”
It was like those videos of the soldiers returning home to their pets. Fergus was ecstatic to see Evan.
For a split second, I thought,Maybe I should just give Fergus to Evan.
But as much as the cat annoyed me, scratched me, and tore up my plants, I couldn’t get rid of him. Besides, how well did I know Evan? What if this was a temporary infatuation, and Fergus realized that Evan was a horrible human being and went back to his grouchy self, causing Evan to kick him back out onto the street? I couldn’t take that chance.
“Yeah, well, you have ten minutes with him, then you need to get out. I have work to do.”
“No, I need longer with my precious Fergus.”
“This apartment is not big enough.”
“But I brought food.” Evan jumped up, reached into the hallway for a brown paper sack, and handed it to me. It smelled heavenly.
“I figured you might be lasagnaed out, so I broughtvitello tonnatoand crusty bread, spaghetti carbonara with bucatini noodles, and antipasta. I’m not sure what’s in there, but there’s usually olives, so I lay claim to all of those, along with the sliced imported Genoa salami.”
“Hell no! You interrupted me just to pet my cat. The sausage is mine.”
Evan grinned at me above Fergus’s ears. “All of it?”
“If you didn’t just bring food, I would throw something at you.”
Evan flopped back on my bed, arranging his body like an advertisement for some Italian suit maker that was so obscure only the super-duper rich knew about them. He chucked Fergus under the chin, and the large cat purred.
I took out some plates and laid the food out on the narrow desk that was wedged between the bed and the wall. Normally I sat on the bed to work at the desk, but it would serve as a table.
“Don’t drip anything on my bedspread. It’s a bitch to try and haul this thing to the laundromat,” I warned Evan. “I have to go to the one a few blocks over, because that’s the only one big enough to dry this.”
“Pro tip,” Evan said, “you should remember to take the bedspread off before having hot and sweaty sex. Sheets are easier to clean than the comforter.”
“I’m not cleaning it because of that!” I shrieked at him.
Evan smirked and took the container of olives out of the bag. “Well, excuse me. I thought you just had a habit of bringing strange men back to your apartment to fulfill your hookup fantasies,” he said, spearing an olive with a fork.
“Then why in the world would I bring you?”
“I just figured you got cold feet,” he said with a shrug. “I was just too much for you to handle. I’m like a Greek god fallen from Mount Olympus, and you were so awestruck by my handsomeness that it was all you could do to worship me as I slept.”
I grabbed the bowl of olives from him. “Okay, Mr. Greek God, no more olives for you if you can’t behave.”
“You like our banter. It makes you excited,” Evan said.
“It makes me annoyed.”
“She says as she eats the food I brought her.”
“I didn’t ask you to.”
“I know the way to a woman’s heart: food and sex.”
