“You mean you’ve only had sex with that gorgeous man three times?” Ensley admonished.
“That’s not—no, I mean we’ve had a lot of sex. That is a brand-new box of condoms that we are just starting to break in.” Nervous sweat had started to drip down under my girdle.
“Doing it in the office?” my stepmother said, finally getting off the bed and tottering in her heels to the bathroom.
“How many boxes have you gone through?” Cassie asked.
I blanked. I was never that great at math, especially not in my head. I needed a calculator and my trusty spreadsheet.
There are how many condoms in a box?I thought desperately. It had been a while since I’d seen a box of condoms, let alone had to worry about how many were in a box.
Pick a number.
“Ten boxes,” I said, hoping I sounded convincing.
“Of this brand and box?” Cassie demanded.
I nodded. “Yes, definitely that brand.”
“So let me get this straight. You’ve known Blade for three months, since that’s how long ago you started your job. This box has thirty-six condoms in it.”
I nodded.
“That means you have gone through three hundred sixty condoms since you met Blade. For the drunks in the peanut gallery,” Cassie said, glaring at her mom and grandmother, “that averages out to Avery having sex with Blade four times a day for the last three months, assuming of course that you immediately started getting your freak on the minute you were hired.”
“That’s my granddaughter!” Dottie whooped.
“One box was defective and had to be thrown away,” I said, mouth going dry.
“I’m sure he does have good staying power,” my stepmother said, opening one of the bottles of cologne on the counter then dabbing it on herself. “I wish your father would wear something like this and start working out more. I like a lot of muscle and sinew rubbing against me when I have sex.”
“Is no one going to see that clearly Avery is lying?” Cassie shrieked. “She’s lying about everything! I bet you haven’t even had sex with him!”
“He has definitely touched inappropriate places of me,” I said, thinking of the other night on the couch.
My grandmother grinned. “That’s the looks of a girl who’s seeing some action.” She fist-bumped me.
“I’m onto you,” Cassie insisted, waving the box of condoms in my face.
I shrugged. “Blade has an insatiable appetite.”
“If she’s anything like her mother, I’d say Avery has the insatiable appetite,” my stepmother sniffed, going into the master closet.
Cassie stomped in after her. “See!” she shrieked, pointing. “Proof. The majority of the closet has Blade’s things. You have a tiny little space. Your shoes aren’t even in a cubby.”
“Oooh, jewelry!” My stepmother reached for one of the long, shallow drawers. “Oh,” she said, disappointed. “It’s only watches.” She opened another drawer. “And sunglasses.” Then another. “And cufflinks.”
“Has he bought you any jewelry?” Cassie demanded.
“I’m not a big jewelry person.”
“That rock on your finger says otherwise,” Cassie said.
I twisted the ring.
“If he loved you, he’d buy you presents,” my stepmother said, opening the drawer that held Blade’s underwear. She pulled out a pair.
I ran and slapped it out of her hand, shoving the boxer brief back into the drawer and slamming it shut.
