I went beet red, thinking about the last time Blade and I had been on a round bed.
“Naughty girl,” Shirley teased.
There was a knock on the hotel room door as Shirley and I rejoined the party.
“Room service!”
I opened it. “I don’t think we ordered anything,” I said as the handsome man rolled the cart into the room. “Did any of you order food?” I asked the rest of the party.
“I hope so,” the young man said, “because I have a thick sausage here for anyone who wants it!” He pressed a button on the cart. The soundtrack from the movieMagic Mikeblared out into the room, and he jumped up onto the cart and started gyrating to the music.
“Oh my word!”
Dottie, Ida, and Bettina started screaming as the stripper whipped off his shirt.
“Where is my beautiful bride?” the stripper asked in a deep voice. “Come on over here! This is your last night of freedom, so you should experience all mankind has to offer!” He whipped off his pants, revealing a white thong.
I covered my face. “This is not happening.”
“Oh hell no, it’s not happening,” Edward shouted behind me.
The stripper stopped dancing and glared at Edward.
“How dare you show up to my friend’s bachelorette party?” Edward yelled, taking off his jacket and flexing his muscles at the stripper. “After what you did, I should throw you off the balcony. You can’t come into someone’s home and treat them like that!”
“You weren’t taking care of it!” the stripper said, crossing his arms. “You didn’t deserve it. Drastic measures had to be taken.”
“So you slept with me to steal my vintage Hello Kitty toaster?” Edward roared. I looked around nervously. “Fuck you, dude! Not fucking cool.”
“I rescued it,” the stripper said snottily. “It deserved better than you.”
Edward leapt, knocking into the cart. He and the stripper crashed to the floor, then they were throwing punches at each other.
My grandmother and her friends cheered, “Fight! Fight!”
“Someone call security!” I yelled to no one in particular as the stripper socked Edward in the nose. Edward punched him in the jaw, then several people were yelling outside the door.
“Security!” They banged on the door. The locked clicked, and several hotel guards stormed in holding riot shields.
Edward and the stripper were still fighting on the floor. The security guards tried to pull them apart, and Edward punched one of them. Three large, burly men jumped on my friend, pinning him to the ground.
“For the safety of our guests,” the hotel manager said, hovering in the doorway, “we’d like to ask you to leave.”
* * *
“Worst bachelorette party ever,”Cassie said snidely when we had all assembled outside and my stepmother flagged down a taxi for her and my grandmother and her friends.
To make the evening worse, Nathan was waiting outside as the hotel security officers escorted us out. He glared at me.
“I can’t believe you told everyone I was bad in bed,” he fumed.
“I didn’t say you were bad, just that Blade is a thousand times better,” I shot back.
“You know, I’m tired of girls like you leading us nice guys along. I tried to help you out, to be your knight in shining armor and help you out of a tough spot, and this is how you repay me?” Nathan whined.
The hotel security guard waved a hand at us and grunted, “You all need to clear the area. No loitering.”
“You’re going to be sorry,” Nathan threatened as he, Kitty, and Stacy walked off.
