“Look around,” Jasmine said, leaning over the table. “See anyone you like?”
I shrugged.
“Release your inner man-eater!” Erika exclaimed.
I grabbed a fry. “I’d rather focus on eating.”
Erika slapped the fry out of my hand. “You’re going to be twenty-five in less than three months. You made me swear on Jane Austen’s grave that I was going to fix your problem.”
“Not at the expense of my french fries,” I whined.
“Yes, you said any means necessary,” my friend said firmly. “Now pick a guy. They all have high-stress jobs. This isthepickup bar in Harrogate.”
“It is?” I said, slightly horrified but still slightly intrigued.
“They’re all here to hook up.” Jasmine said, stuffing her hand into my jacket pocket.
“What the—” I pulled out a long string of condoms, turned beet red, then hastily stuffed them back into my pocket.
“Why do you even have those?” I hissed at her.
“I got them at the clinic I volunteer at,” she said excitedly. “I can feel it. Tonight is your night!”
“Pick a guy,” Erika said. “How about that one?” She pointed to a tall man with medium-brown hair. “He seems like he has a big dick.”
“Shouldn’t we be worried about his personality?” I said, taking a nervous sip of my drink.
“You’re not going to marry him, just sleep with him,” Jasmine scoffed.
“What if he finds out I’m a virgin?” I whispered.
“All you have to do is lie there and think of England. He’s not going to know the difference.”
“Besides, that’s what the alcohol is for.”
“I feel queasy,” I said, reaching for a fry.
“Go over there and talk to him!”
“Guys are supposed to make the first move,” I said, grabbing another handful of fries.
“This is the twenty-first century. Go get ’em!” Erika said, grabbing me and dragging me over to the bar.
The brown-haired guy turned around. He wasn’t as attractive up close. But beggars can’t be choosers.
“Hi—” I said then immediately forgot English.
“This is Sadie,” Erika said slowly. “She thinks you’re hot.”
The guy grinned. “Sadie can’t tell me herself?”
“She’s shy and very horny,” Jasmine explained, appearing behind me.
It wasn’t lost on me that the brown-haired dude seemed way more excited to see Jasmine than me.
“She’s a lesbian and married,” Erika said.
“I mean, Vance—” his friend dug an elbow into his side.
