Jasmine:Losing it where? I thought you were getting fired.
Sadie:I didn't get fired. But I’m on probation until the end of the week. Parker wants me to "surprise him."
Erika:Ooh I think I’ve seen this romantic comedy on Netflix! Break out the sexy secretary outfit!
Jasmine:Don't lead with that. Start slowly. Bring him his favorite foods, then his favorite drinks. Make his life easy and then before you know it he's sliding in you nice and easy.
Erika:Totally! You'll lose your cherry before the end of the week. Guys like that like girls like you.
Sadie:No they don't. They want to marry someone who eats seaweed crackers not gravy-smothered biscuits.
Jasmine:Gross.
Erika:I think it's 50/50 on his marrying you, but he'll definitely boink you. He just needs a little push in the right direction.
Sadie:I'm not sexually harassing my boss.
Jasmine:Sexually cajole.
I looked over at Parker through the glass wall. He was sitting at his desk, back straight. I admired his profile, the strong jaw, the neatly parted hair.
I know what he looks like shirtless.
I really did have sex on the brain. Also, my twenty-fifth birthday was coming up in a few months. The only thing worse than being a twenty-four-year-old virgin would be being a twenty-five-year-old virgin.
Actually, scratch that. Worse would be a twenty-five-year-oldjoblessvirgin.
I forced myself to look at my computer screen. Dylan, the IT guy, had brought the computer for me while Parker and I were touring the office. I hated to admit it, but I wasn't much of a computer person. More accurately, computers weren't much of a me person. I went through a laptop a year. They would spontaneously fail in unique and horrifying ways. Once my laptop had even caught on fire after I spilled bourbon and ice cream over it by accident. I’d lost a term paper.
After that, I had tried to limit my computer use. I preferred to write on a typewriter with a cup of herbal tea in a cozy office. My dream when I was a little girl had been to be like Betsy from theBetsy-Tacy-Tibbooks. All Betsy did was hang around with her friends, take long lunches, and write angsty short stories. That was my ideal life. Like I said, I had had ill-informed dreams of a pampered existence. Of course, I had clearly failed at being a strong, independent woman. But now I wished I had learned to code—or at least learned to adult properly.
As much as I wanted to ride his cock—No, not that, brain!—I meant, absolutely despised him, I needed to show Parker that I wasn't just a crazy, food-throwing girl and that I could actually be a good assistant. I didnotneed to convince him to sleep with me. Kaitlyn had clearly staked her claim, and I had had enough humiliation to last me the rest of the year without backing Parker into a corner so that he felt the need to harshly reject me.
I tapped at the keyboard, and the laptop screen lit up. A message popped up on the instant messenger.
Kaitlyn:Please print this. It’s for the Rural Trust meeting today.
Sadie:Of course! Is there any other reading I need to do for it?
Kaitlyn:You don't need to be there.
Sadie:Okay fine. I’ll have this over to you soon.
I sent the PDFs to the printer. At least I had a printer in my office; I couldn’t remember where the main printer was. Of course, according to Parker, I wasn't going to be here that long, so maybe it didn't matter.
The machine hummed as it spit out the first few sheets. Then it let out an unholy screech and shuddered. I desperately opened the doors and drawers on the large printer and tapped the frozen touch screen.
“Crap!” I looked around wildly.
Parker jumped up and came into my office.
“Sorry, Mr. Svensson, it's just jammed, I think,” I said, tugging at a bunch of papers stuck in the rollers. But I pulled too hard, and the roller broke, spilling the guts of the printer onto the floor.
Parker pulled the plug out of the wall. “You're supposed to make my life easier, not destroy my equipment.”
“I have an issue with electronics,” I said. Parker shook his head slowly.
At this rate, I wasn't going to make it until Thursday.
