I loved food shopping. Really, I loved any kind of shopping, but with food, there were so many possibilities! What fancy dessert was I going to bake?
“Since it's for kids, it needs to be fun, but it also needs to be easy to actually make. I was thinking of baking an icebox cake, but I don't want to do a no-bake cake. This isThe Great Christmas Bake-Off, after all.”
I decided to make a multilayered sponge cake with custard cheesecake, fruit, chocolate, and mousse. When they announced it was a kids' challenge, I knew Dana and Penny were too smart to pass up an opportunity to have a pack of adorable, photogenic children in the studio. This type of cake would be good for multiple kids because each one could make a layer.
While browsing through the store, I selected various fruits and chocolates. The specialty store had very nice oranges. In the olden times, oranges and other citrus fruits had only been in season in the winter. It had been fashionable to give citrus fruits as gifts. They were definitely going in my dessert.
After I had finished collecting my ingredients and checked out, I went outside to snap photos for my Instagram story. I was framing the perfect shot of the window display when an elf approached me.
“Amber?” I asked, confused. She couldn’t have had time to change. I peered at the elf. She had a cold expression, ice-blue eyes, and long brown hair. She was also very tall. I'd worn heels, and I still had to crane my neck. “Do I know you?”
“I'm Dr. Diane Frost, Owen's mother,” the tall woman said. She gazed at me. “So you're the one my son has been after. I'll have you know I take pride in the quality of my children's choice of life partner.”
“That's nice,” I said, starting to back away. I'd lived with crazy for years when I’d had to occupy the same house as Amber. I knew better than to poke crazy. I wanted to leave crazy way the hell alone.
“You aren't what I envisioned,” Diane said, nostrils flaring. Geez, I wasn't even sleeping with the guy, and yet I had all his family drama spewing all over me.
“Well, I hope you get that checked out! Have a nice life!” I said, flashing her a thumbs-up and scurrying back to the bake-off group.Hope I never see you again.
“Who was that?” Fiona asked as we walked back to the tower.
“Crazy lady.”
“It's Manhattan. I once saw guy having an entire conversation with a pigeon. You just have to let these things go.”
“I made alcohol,” Morticia said in a bored tone when we were back in the condo and had put away our ingredients.
“What is it?” Fiona asked.
“Alcohol,” Morticia repeated.
Fiona shrugged and picked up a glass. “Can't beat that.”
“Ooh!” I said, clapping my hands after I'd taken a burning sip of whatever the hell that was. “Take cute pictures of me. Like a sexyMad MenChristmas with my drink. Please, Morticia, you're such a good artist!”
“I know you're trying to flatter me, and it's working,” she said, picking up my phone.
I struck a Betty Boop pose.
“I hope you're not going to be like that when the kids are here,” Morticia commented.
“Hardly,” I said, smooshing my boobs up even more in the tight-fitting bodice. “Though I think I better find an apron that provides some coverage. Otherwise these babies might be a bit much.”
Morticia lowered the phone. “Call me crazy, but since you still claim to be running a baking Instagram account, not an escort-for-hire Instagram account, maybe you should put some baked goods in the picture?”
“She had her muffins!” Fiona giggled. The alcohol concoction was clearly hitting her fast.
I took another sip of my own. “I don't have any cookies. Except for the extra-special Christmas cookie!” I said, pointing down to my hoo-ha. Fiona and I collapsed into a fit of giggles.
“Three hundred twenty-five days until Halloween, three hundred twenty-five days until Halloween,” Morticia chanted and went around to the other side of the kitchen island. She pulled out a box. “I have some leftover cookies here. Use these in the picture.”
“You like these?” I held the mitten cookies up to my chest and blew a kiss to the camera.
Morticia snapped a few more pictures. “Just post one of the photos along with a donation link. I bet you make this month's student loan payment.”
“My grandmother always said to use the gifts God gave you, whatever they may be!” I said, flipping through the pictures.
“I'll drink to that!” Fiona said.
