"No! No, just you need to leave," she said, wrenching open the car door.
I studied Penny while she drove. She had a death grip on the steering wheel.
"Fuck my life," she muttered. She was stiff as she drove me back to the estate, speeding around curves.
"Penny," I said when she pulled up in front of the estate house. "Can you please talk to me? Is it something I did? Was it last night? Is it about what I said? You're absolutely the only girl for me." None of it seemed to register. She threw open the door, jogged around the car, and physically pulled me out.
"Thanks for the party! Had a great time. See you at work on Monday!"
I watched, stunned, as she drove away. I was still standing outside what felt like hours later but probably was only a few minutes when the front door opened and Hunter peered out. I blinked at him in the morning light.
"Where are your clothes? Why are you standing outside half naked?"
"I don't have my keys," I said, "or my wallet or my phone."
* * *
"What did you do?"Weston asked later when I had showered and dressed and was sitting at the dining room table. Even Archer was up. Apparently my relationship drama was enough to entice him out of bed before noon.
I opened my mouth then closed it. "It could be several things."
"Several?" Blade asked. "Do I need to make a spreadsheet?"
"No," Weston scoffed. "Spreadsheets aren't the answer for everything."
"Why don't you talk about it, baby brother?" Archer said after taking a big bite of a croissant.
"Leave me alone. I don't have to explain myself to any of you," I spat, suddenly feeling crowded.
I went out onto the terrace with my Bulletproof coffee. It felt like fall—not Penny's fun fall but the fall of my childhood, all dampness and desperation.
I sipped my coffee and watched the fog roll out of the woods on the grounds. Weston and Blade came outside.
"Hazel made eggs Benedict," Blade said, shoving a plate at me. Weston and Blade were younger than me by a couple of years. When we’d moved to Harrogate and my older brothers were looking for work, I had looked after them as best I could. I still tried to look out for them.
"You know, women, sometimes they get weird," Blade said, kicking some dead leaves that had blown on the terrace.
"Were you in love with her?" Weston asked bluntly.
Was I?
"I could have been," I said.
"You don't know if it's over," Weston said. "Maybe she ate something bad and needed you out or had her parents coming over and she forgot. It could be any number of things."
"It's her life," I said brusquely. "She can have me in it or not. I have bigger things to worry about." It sounded like overcompensation, even to me. I took the plate and carried it back inside.
Along with more eggs Benedict, there were bagels accompanied by an array of various dips and spreads laid out in nicely carved wooden bowls.
"Ernest dropped those by as thanks for buying all the pumpkins," Hazel chirped. Even with the late night, she still looked fresh. "He even carved them with little Halloween scenes. I'm going to take some pictures and put them up on Instagram. He made them out of bamboo. Aren’t they cute? Maybe you could take one to Penny as an apology present."
"I'm not even sure what to apologize for," I admitted.
51
Penny
The only thing keeping me from sobbing as I drove back home was the fact that I needed to sound calm and professional when I called my mother. My hands were shaking as I scrolled to her contact in my phone.
