"Never again," I told him.
Archer was in the kitchen, burning an omelet.
"You could have had Archer fix you something," I told Henry as I opened a window to air out the kitchen. Henry ignored me and climbed up on a stool at the large kitchen island.
"Why are you up so early?" I asked Archer. "Wait, let me guess. You never went to sleep."
"We creative geniuses work best in the dark," Archer said as he scraped some of the eggs onto a plate and handed Henry a fork.
I looked at the food. "You really want to eat that?" I asked Henry as he gingerly took a bite.
"Don't hate on my food," Archer said. "At least I cooked. Normally I have people to do this for me."
"I think there's some nut bread left," I told Henry, trying to take the plate away from him.
"There's not," Archer said, sitting down next to Henry. "I gave it to Remy and told him to bury it in the yard."
"You wasted food!" I said, shocked.
Archer snorted. "Nope. Remy said he was going to vacuum pack it, that the bread would survive a nuclear apocalypse and we would all be glad to have it later. He stashed it in the bunker."
I snagged a bite of my brother's omelet. It tasted as bad as it looked.
"Maybe I should try and find a chef," I mused.
"I thought you tried that before, and the kids couldn't handle it."
"Right. Maybe we won't repeat that," I said.
"You could find a live-in girlfriend," Archer said and made a suggestive gesture.
"Not in front of Henry," I admonished.
"Josie should be your girlfriend," Henry said, a piece of egg falling off his fork. He grabbed it with his hand and slurped it up. I handed him a napkin. "I hope she doesn't leave."
"Mace isn't allowed to fire her," Archer said, smirking. "Greg said so."
Henry beamed. "Good. I like her. She's cool." He looked thoughtful. "And pretty."
"She is pretty," my twin said, smiling broadly.
"Don't even think about it," I growled at him.
"Someone's possessive!"
I thought about that. I wasn't, was I? Strange. I didn't even like Josie.
* * *
Henry rodewith me to work. I sagged as soon as I walked into the building. Right. He was expelled from daycare.
"What am I going to do with you?" I asked him.
"Send me to Australia," he said.
"I'm not sending you to Australia. You don't even know where that is."
Josie was waiting for me in my office. The glass was still broken, but at least everything was picked up.
