Because you've given me peace I've never known? Because you're the only clean thing in this dirty world? Because I've realized I don't want to let go?
But I didn't say any of that.
"Because you deserve it." I turned to look at her seriously. "And besides, taking care of a pregnant woman is a husband's responsibility, isn't it?"
She was quiet for a long time, then simply said "thank you" and went to her room to rest.
I watched her retreating figure, suddenly wanting to tell her—
Maybe we could keep playing this part for the rest of our lives.
Three a.m., and Luna was up again with morning sickness.
I sat on the edge of the bed, one hand supporting her back, the other offering water.
This was the fourth time this week.
I'd gotten used to being woken by her muffled retching, used to rushing barefoot into her room, used to sitting with her on the cold bathroom floor until she had nothing left to throw up.
"Feel better?" I wiped the cold sweat from her forehead with a damp towel.
She nodded weakly, leaning against me and gasping.
"Sorry... woke you up again..."
"Nothing to be sorry for," I raised an eyebrow. "I just got you some water."
"You know that's not what I mean." She took the glass, sipping slowly. "You make me breakfast every day, go to all my appointments, take care of me at night... You have your own business. You don't need to waste your time on me."
"It's not a waste."
My voice came out more serious than I'd intended.
She looked up, slightly surprised.
Moonlight leaked through the curtain gaps, falling on her pale face like a thin silver veil.
God, she was beautiful now.
"Julian?"
"Hmm?"
"What... what are you thinking?"
What was I thinking?
I was thinking how I wished you weren't Kirill's wife. How I wished the baby in your belly was mine.
How I wished... you could love me the way you loved him.
But I said nothing.
"I'm thinking," I stood up, helping her back onto the pillow, "you should get more rest. You have work tomorrow."
"Thank you," she said softly, drowsiness creeping into her voice.
"You're welcome."
