“So what’s the step after beta testing?” Mom asks, wanting to stay engaged.
I have nothing else to compare her to, but she’s the best mom I could have ever asked for. How she managed to wrangle five boys and remain the same way she looked thirty years ago, I’ll never know. I do know she’s always wanted a daughter and she was close to getting her wish with James’s fiance´e, Emily. She was the quintessential girl next door and my brother fell hard and fast for her. Even when I was away at college and would call him, I could hearthe love—despite how young they were—that he had for her. Emily was just as devastated as we were, if not more, because instead of celebrating the final weeks leading up to their wedding, she was speaking at his funeral. I sat in that pew, not jealous of my brother, but envious he got to experience a love as all-encompassing as the one he got to experience with Emily.
We haven’t seen her in years, despite her parents still owning the house next door, with them occasionally visiting to take care of regular maintenance. But maybe, like me, it’s too hard for her to visit. I can’t imagine planning my life with someone, only to come back and see his mark everywhere.
I wash down my food with water and push my almost empty plate away. “Next, we get it back to fine-tune some bugs and then send it off to our designers to work on the characters and while they have that, we’ll run through the game to make sure there's no kinks. And then we send it back out for more beta testing. It’s a long process, but we’re hoping to launch it by next year.”
“What game did you design?” Evan asks.
I try my best to think of games to compare it to, that he’ll know. “Um, think Mario Kart meets Sonic, meets Temple Run.”
“Whoa. Can I play it?” Ford, the baby of the family, asks, amazed.
“Sure, buddy. I’ll make a note to get you a copy before we officially launch.”
He smiles his too big of a smile and goes back to texting under the table. I try to rack my brain about whether or not I acted like him at that age. It pains me to say that was almost two decades ago, and technology has come a lot further than what I grew up with.
“How’s your dating life?”Mom asks as we stand at the sink washing dishes an hour later.
My cheeks lift with a smile as I look at the pan I’m washing. “Is this you fishing to see if you’re getting a daughter-in-law soon?”
She chuckles and hands me the wet dish to dry. We have a dishwasher, but this is the time we use to catch up without other prying eyes or open ears. “Sue me for wanting some estrogen in this house.”
“Hey, you could’ve stopped after having me. But no. You wanted your own basketball team,” I tease her lightheartedly.
“It's hard to have a team when only one of you is taller than six two my mom teases, referring to Malcolm and pulling a laugh from both of us.
“Ouch. Well, Evan might grow another inch, and Ford is still growing, so there’s a chance.”
I listen to her throaty chuckle and I can see why Dad fell for her all those years ago. Laughter shouldn’t be what I base a relationship, or even marriage, off of, but if what I have with a partner is real, then I’ll want to handle them and their laughter for the rest of my life.
“When I’m dating someone and it becomes serious, you’ll be the first to know.”
My thoughts go back to the forbidden bartender. I haven’t said a single word to her and she hasn’t said a single word to me. Of course, we’d have to clear the air for us to speak to each other. Though for some reason, even with no words spoken between either of us, she’s put a spell on me and I can’t get her out of my head.
“How considerate of you,” my mom says, shutting off the water. “Speaking of girls–have you spoken to Emily?”
I hand her the dish towel after I use it and lean against the counter. “No. I was actually just thinking about her.”
Emilywasthe sister I never had. And I know her, being an only child, she got four brothers that she never had. While she and James had over a decade together, we became her family. During my school breaks, her, James, and I would do things the younger kids couldn’t. Then, when I graduated, and they moved into their own place, we would have weekly dinners at their apartment to catch up on life. But after James died, I think we became a reminder of who and what she lost. The family she’ll never get to have. So I understand her need to essentially cut us off. But it doesn’t sting any less.
“She hasn’t returned any of my calls,” Mom says, and I hate the sorrowful tone she uses.
“Maybe she just needs more time.”
“Yeah,” Mom says, “maybe.”
I push off the counter and lean forward to kiss my mom on the cheek. “I’m gonna head out.”
“Okay. Are you good on toilet paper?”
“Yes, Mom. I still have plenty from the last time I was here,” I tell her with a chuckle.
Mom always makes sure I’m stocked on home goods. But it helps that I live alone and am at the office most of the week, so my toilet paper stash lasts me longer than most people’s.
“Alright. I’m just checking.”
I wrap my arm around her shoulder and we head into the living room where I say goodbye to my dad and brothers.
