Angie slides by me, fixes the tee, then places the ball on top. “Hmm. Two truths and a lie. I’m not a natural blonde, I’m ambidextrous, and I was popular in high school.”
She takes my silence as thinking and lines up to hit the ball. When she does, it sails through the air and drops next to mine, but rolls about a foot further. Angie is a natural and has picked up the sport quicker than any newbie should. My jaw hangs slack as I watch the ball land not too far from mine.
“Well?” she asks after she’s finished watching the ballmove and out of the corner of my eye, I see she turns to me for my answer.
I shake my head and give her my full attention as we walk back to the golf cart. “Two truths would be that you’re ambidextrous from years of piano training and that you were popular in high school. So the lie is your hair color.”
“I hate to break your streak, but I was far from popular in high school,” she says and takes a seat, waiting for me to whisk us closer to where our balls are.
“What? How is that possible?”
I see her shrug out of the corner of my eye. “I don’t know. I had “friends” but it was all very surface-level. So I was very much a loner until two people welcomed me into their circle. But before them, I didn’t really go to any school events, and my school spirit was in the dirt. And eventually, those two friends I had dropped off after Liam died.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I didn’t really give them much of a choice to stick around. I shut everyone out and it was better for me to do the leaving than for them to do the leaving.”
We get out of the cart and finish up the last round. Us playing two truths and a lie while golfing has made this outing go by faster than any I’ve ever played before. In fact, I think I now prefer to play this way.
After we sink our balls, I turn to Angie. “Do you know what they’re up to now? Your former friends?”
She turns to me and nods, but I see the slight sheen of tears in her eyes. “They went to the same college on the other end of the state and joined the same sorority. We’ll give each other the occasional ‘like’ on social media, but that’s about it.”
“Do you miss them?”
I’ve noticed that when something plagues Angie, she’llget this far away look in her eye like right now and twist the ring on her thumb. And I’ll know not to rush her because that’s her way of processing things. “Sometimes,” she eventually says with a shrug, “and I always wonder if our friendship was sostrong,because even in high school when either of us needed each other, we were there—why didn’t they push for me to let them in. See? Surface-level. But it was also on me. Because I haven’t really let anyone in, until you.”
I raise my hand and push back strands of blonde hair behind her ear that have escaped her ponytail. I don’t say anything and neither does she. The weight of Angie’s words bouncing around in my brain from today and one of our first interactions weighs heavily.
It’s never something you think you’ll find yourself hearing. That the person you’re starting to fall for really has no one except you. Maybe she’s preferred it that way to avoid feeling disappointed. Or maybe she’s been waiting for someone to notice that she hates being alone. And you have to wonder if it’s them forming an unhealthy attachment to you—the you who’s showing them what it’s like to have someone. Or is their attachment to you the same form of attachment that you’re displaying?
Is that love? No way. It’s too soon. Sure, we’ve been getting to know each other for the last month. I think about her all the time. I've slacked on my routine to spend as much time as I can with her. But it can’t be love. Can it? I said I was falling for her, but I’m not sure if it’s love.
14
ANGIE
Brandon joins me in the car after putting his golf clubs in the trunk. I look at my reflection in the visor mirror—my cheeks are red from the sun, I have a light sheen of sweat covering me, and I can’t stop the smile that’s been a fixture on my face for the last few hours.
“What’s got you smiling?” Brandon asks as he starts up the car.
I lean onto the center console, putting myself closer to him. The sun has burned his neck, even with the copious amount of sunscreen I applied to him. But he’s never looked better.
“You. Thank you for today.”
He leans forward and places a kiss on my slightly burnt nose. “You’re welcome. Do you need to get home right away?”
I shake my head. “What did you have in mind?”
“Dinner? I bought stuff for a massive salad.”
“Okay.”
Brandon leans forward and places another soft kiss on the tip of my nose, then puts the car in drive. I leave my armon the center console with my hand dangling, and look down when he places his hand in mine, interlocking our fingers together.
I really like him. Brandon, that is. He’s begun to brighten my life in a way that just going to work and playing the piano hasn’t. I don’t want to believe I’m attaching myself to him just because he’s the first one to show me a lick of attention beyond co-workers. And maybe this is something I should bring up in my therapy sessions. But for now, I’m going to enjoy this, because I haven’t enjoyed anything in a very long time.
“Does it need more salt?”Brandon asks as the small spoon hovers in front of my mouth.
