“Things are going to fall into place one day. You’re going to make it out of this.”
“And if I don’t?” I ask.
Rose chuckles. “Briar Blackbyrne, you would never let that happen. You’re too stubborn for that.” She glances over her shoulder, looking into the dark house. “We often try to talk ourselves out of showing our greatness. It’s easier to hide because it’s comfortable. We pretend we don’t want more in ourlives, but we all do. We all want to achieve great things, yet some never get the chance.”
I look into the dark house with her, but nothing catches my eye.
“You have that chance," she says, returning her gaze to me. “Don’t waste it.”
A tear sits heavy in the corner of my eye. “But, I’ve already failed so much.”
“My shadow, we all fail. But, those who choose to view their failures as new beginnings are the ones who emerge from this life feeling fulfilled.”
I let the tear roll down my cheek, and like so many times before, Rose is there to wipe it away.
“Don’t fear your future or the things that lie beyond the horizon. Face them directly and tell them that you are Briar Blackbyrne, and you don’t give a fuck.”
Her cursing surprises me, and a laugh escapes my throat. She joins in on the laughter and tilts her head to the sky. Her long white hair flows beautifully beside her. She resembles my mother so much, and even through the grief, worry, and devastation, she’s stunning. I gaze at her, memorizing her silhouette, and I remind myself that no matter what happens, I have someone in this cruel world who loves me as much as my mother did.
“Get going,” she orders. “You have a big day today, and you have a beautiful man asleep in your bed. If I were you, I would never get up.”
“Oh Gods, Rose.” I nudge her arm and chuckle. “You need to stop spending so much time with Maines.”
Rose pulls me into an embrace. “I love you, shadow.”
I squeeze her tightly and inhale deeply, savoring her wonderfully familiar scent. “I love you, too.”
Ipeek my head back into our dim room and see Silas on his side, still fast asleep. Dark amber hues fill the room with the first light of day, and I climb back into bed next to him, closing my eyes. The sheets are warm, and the room is silent except for Silas's calm breathing. I giggle to myself, and think—this man could sleep through a hurricane.
I look out the window, gazing at the vast ocean stretching endlessly before us, the water as black as the previous night, but somewhat reflective in the morning light. The waves crashing against the cliff wall have quickly become one of my favorite sounds. It’s peaceful, yet forever churning. I feel I resemble the ocean, always restless and moving. I lie here in this moment, wishing that the days ahead wouldn’t come and I could stay here forever, warm and calm next to Silas. Rose’s words replay over and over in my mind, and she’s right. I’m going to stop fearing what’s coming and get prepared.
Silas begins to wake, and I hear a soft groan leave his throat. He rustles in the dark sheets, and I feel a hand move closer to my body under the covers. He pushes his arm under the small of my back and pulls me toward his body. His shirtless chest pushes against my back, and Silas buries his head into the crook of my neck. As quickly as he stirs, he falls back asleep, his breath steadying once more with the knowledge I’m there.
I look down at his arms locked around me. Small, aged scars from fighting line them, and I trace each one with my fingers, thinking about what he has endured in this life. I roll onto my back, still held in his embrace, and stare at the ceiling. Theroom quickly fills with a bright glow from the rising sun, and my surroundings come into sharper focus. I continue to caress his arms, trying to remain this relaxed for as long as possible. Thoughts of what’s coming start to intrude, and I close my eyes.
Stop, Briar. Relax.
I can’t stop moving restlessly.
Silas stirs again, inching closer to the nape of my neck, and I shift my hand from his arm to the side of his face. He leans into my touch but keeps his eyes closed.
“Do you ever sleep?” he mumbles.
“Not like you,” I respond. “You sleep like a bear…or a corpse.”
He chuckles and cuddles closer, kissing the back of my neck. “And I thought I was the grumpy morning person.”
I turn to face him fully, and he opens his eyes. His familiar green eyes gaze into mine, and I relax. His face is handsome, and his eyes are drowsy, still filled with sleep. Silas smiles softly and moves his hand to my cheek. He doesn’t speak, only stares, and I think he’s memorizing my face, studying me so he never forgets this simple moment between us.
“I’m not grumpy, by the way.” I grin.
“Oh, sure,” he teases, and tickles my side. “And I’m the resident funny guy.”
I squirm and yelp from his touch, but quickly snuggle back into him.
“More like the resident chronic worrier.”
He laughs at that.
