I creep toward the balcony and instantly recognize the person standing before me, holding a hot cup of tea. The scent of thyme and lavender reaches my nose in the crisp morning air, calming my racing heart.
Rose stands on the balcony, wrapped in a blanket and sipping freshly made tea. She turns as she hears me approach, and a bright grin spreads across her, lighting up the area around us.
“Good morning, my little shadow,” she greets, smiling. “Always creeping in the darkness, aren’t you?”
“I didn’t think anyone was awake.”
I step further onto the balcony and join her, resting my hands on the railing, and wrapping the blanket around me tighter. She looks at me and studies me for a moment. I wish more than anything that things were back to normal and we were in the kitchen in Daramveer with Lang grumbling to himself about something. But, things weren’t normal then; we just pretended they were for the sake of sanity.
“I’m old, Briar,” she chuckles. “You know I don’t sleep much anymore.”
I let the silence of the early morning fill the vast space once more. She places the cup in her left hand and slides her right across the railing to grasp mine. The darkness of the morning begins to fade, and I know the dawn of a new day is approaching. Today will be challenging, and I can’t help but let the dread filling my chest bubble up.
“You alright, kid?” she asks.
“Things have gone horribly wrong,” I respond. “And someone died because of me.”
Rose angles her head and says, “It wasn’t your fault, Briar, and I need you to know that.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” I say, with a heavy sigh.
“Do you think if you were able to speak to Yara right now, she would blame you?”
I shake my head. “No, she wouldn’t blame me.”
“I don’t think so, either. Her blood is not on your hands; that is not a mark you have to bear.”
“I feel as if I’m somehow stained,” I add. “Like the constant blood will mark me permanently after a while.”
“It will.”
I snap my gaze to hers.
“You will always feel the weight of what’s happened in your past,” she says. “But, that weight doesn’t have to pull you down.”
I listen to her intently.
“You need to use that as a driving force to stop this. To make sure the evil is stopped. Don’t get over what happened; get angry. And then, get angrier.”
“And then what?”
“Then, you can start living the life you are meant to have.” She smiles, adding, “With that handsome boy of yours.”
I laugh, letting her words crash upon me like the waves below.
That’s a thought.
After this is over, what will my life be like?
What is the life I’m meant to be living?
I sigh and turn to her. “I need to ask you something.”
She nods, giving me time to find the courage to speak again.
“My mother…”
“Go ahead,” she replies. “Don’t let mere words make you nervous.”
