“And who’s fault is that?” Adara crossed her arms over her chest, pushing her breasts together and giving me a far too tantalizing view of her cleavage. Lady Mossi had sent fresh clothes for both of us—supple brown leather pants, a cream-colored cotton shirt, and a forest green jerkin for me, while Adara was given a sleeveless blue overdress with a golden bustier and dark leggings underneath. Golden epaulets clutched her otherwise bare shoulders, and a matching pair of bracers covered her forearms. Lady Mossi had claimed the outfit was from a late water fae cousin of hers, and I had to admit it suited her very well.
A little too well,I admitted to myself, dragging my gaze back up to her face. It was frustrating, how easily distracted I was by her body. The mating bond was a relentless force, constantly pushing me to claim what it insisted was mine by divine right.
“You need to be able to control your magic regardless of the circumstances,” I told her, forcing my mind back to the issue at hand. “Do you think the enemy is going to politely wait while you gather your focus? That they won’t attack you, goad you, distract you, do whatever they possibly can to get through your defenses?”
“Of course not,” Adara snapped, her eyes flashing, “but I’m not at that level yet, Einar. I only discovered I had fire magic four days ago. You can’t expect me to wield it as easily as you can.”
“Maybe not,” I agreed, “but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to push you. You signed up for this when you asked me to teach you,” I reminded her when she opened her mouth to protest. “If you don’t like it, you can find someone else.”
She glared at me. “You know there isn’t anyone else who can teach me. The fire fae are all gone, thanks to your people.”
I shot to my feet, fury obliterating my desire to help. “We’re done here,” I growled, stalking away from her.
A haze of red came over my vision, and I resisted the urge to lash out at something. I was so tired of hearing that same old line, of being punished for a crime that, even if my ancestorshadcommitted, happened nearly three thousand years ago. A crime that the fae had used as an excuse to drive us nearly to extinction.
I made it three steps before a delicate hand closed around my wrist. That familiar jolt sizzled up my arm, and I halted abruptly, my feet rooted to the spot by her touch.
“Wait.” Adara’s voice was softer now, tinged with what sounded like regret. “I’m sorry, Einar. I shouldn’t have said that.”
My shoulders relaxed, a deep exhale sawing from my lungs, and I inwardly kicked myself at the reaction. I should wrench my arm from her grip and keep walking, head back to my rooms and leave her here. Let her set fire to the place for all I cared.
Instead, I slowly turned, bringing her face to face with me, letting her see the raw emotions in my eyes.
Adara sucked in a breath as our gazes collided. Her fingers still curled around my wrist, my pulse thrumming against the pale digits. Part of me wanted to take that hand and pull her in closer, to feel her body flush against mine the way she had been back in the forest when she’d accidentally fallen on top of me. Heat coiled low in my belly at the thought of it, and I found my other hand lifting up, skimming my thumb along her cheekbone, running it over her lower lip.
Her eyes widened, and she jerked back as if I’d slapped her.
The pain of that rejection lanced through me, a white hot spear of denial that seared the inside of my chest. Unable to face it, I spun on my heel and stalked back inside, out of her rooms and into my own.
This time, she didn’t stop me.
Breaths coming in fast, I paced the small sitting area near my bed, hands shoved into my hair, insides churning with emotion.This is a good thing,I tried to tell myself.You want her to reject you. You want her to push you away, so that the mating bond doesn’t take root. You’ve been trying to make her hate you since you first met.
Then why, when I was succeeding, did I feel like such a damned failure?
Letting out a gusty exhale, I strode toward the window in the room and flung it open. The sun had set, and only a hint of twilight remained, tinging the verdant horizon with a hint of pale yellow as night settled in.
I knew there was a chance I would be seen, but instinct drove me hard, pushing me toward the open sky. I couldn’t stand to be in this place, caged by walls that stank of fae magic, for even a second longer.
So, before I could think it through, I took a few steps back, then dashed toward the window and dove through it.
Immediately, I began to plummet, the ground rushing up to meet me from ten stories above. I allowed myself to fall for a brief moment, the wind screaming a shrill warning in my ears, and then my wings burst from my back, the satiny membranes unfurling to catch the current. Scales sprouted along the ends of my extremities—hands, feet, forearms, shins—,claws curved from the tips of my toes and fingers, and I grinned fiercely, exposing razor sharp fangs.
It had been a long time since I’d assumed my halfling form. It was a skill that only the strongest of dragons could manage, holding oneself between forms, and it felt damn good to know that even after all these years, I still had it.
I pumped my wings once, twice, three times, until I caught an updraft that carried me far from the castle. Closing my eyes, I coasted for a while, simply enjoying the freedom of flying. There was no agenda, no place I needed to be, no rider on my back to carry to safety.
If I wanted to, I could just keep flying.
But where to?I wondered as I drifted through a cloud. Icy particles clung to my skin, reminding me of the blue-haired faery girl with moonlit skin and bewitching eyes I’d left behind. The mating bond tugged at my heart, trying to pull me back to her, and a deep ache settled in my chest.
For a long time, I’d prayed every night to the spirits of my ancestors to help me find my mate. Completing that soul bond was one of the greatest joys in a dragon’s life, and I’d been envious as I watched my friends, hatchlings I’d grown up with and fought alongside, find their life partners and experience the bliss of joining with their missing halves.
But as I’d fought more battles, watched more and more of my friends lose their lives, I became thankful I didn’t have a mate. Thankful that she would never experience the soul-rending pain of watching me die in battle, and that she would never subject me to the same agony. In a life lived on the edge of death, it seemed to me that there was no room for love, no room for anything but desperate survival.
To be gifted the thing I’d once wanted most in the world, under such tragic circumstances, was almost more than I could bear.
Daryan’s face swam into my mind’s eye as I flew, his ember-colored eyes glowing with joy as he held his fae betrothed’s hands. The two of them had adored each other so much, their love so strong it had nearly brought the two races together, had nearly put an end to the bloodshed.
