I put the groceries away and go upstairs, unpacking the rest of my stuff that I brought over, which is basically everything I could fit inside my bags. I take a few minutes to straighten up, then head back to the kitchen to start dinner. My alarm goes off on my phone at sunset. I left the front door slightly ajar so the guys will know to just come in.
And they do.
“Ace?” Jacques calls.
“In the kitchen,” I call back over my shoulder. I turn down the burner on the stove. Jacques comes in, and the moment our eyes meet, my heart flutters. That weird connection is back, and it takes everything inside me to resist running to him and flinging myself into his arms.
His shoulders tense and his eyes narrow. He’s fighting the same battle.
“What are you doing?”
“Making dinner. Or breakfast for you guys.”
“It smells good.” A beat passes between us before he moves closer. “How are you today? Does your head still hurt?”
“A little.” I subconsciously reach up to the scab. “I’m mostly tired.”
“You should stay in tonight,” he says, instantly annoying me. Only because he’s right.
“I can make my own decisions, thank you very much.” I don’t mean to snap, but there’s something about him that gets under my skin. My insane attraction to him? I know he feels it, too. Why is it so easy for him to brush off?
“I don’t doubt you’re able to.” His face softens. “I heard you last night.”
I pick up a wooden spoon and stir the spaghetti sauce. If I had neighbors, they would have heard me, too. “Oh. Yeah…I…uh…”
“You’re free to do as you wish, Ace,” he says, almost bitterly. His eyes flash and he looks me up and down for a brief moment before looking away. Is that jealousy I’m sensing? “Though you should probably focus more on resting and taking care of yourself before you run off and have fun.” His eyes drill into mine again, so intense I lean away.
Yes, that most definitelyisjealousy. Is it terrible I like it? He’d only be jealous if he had feelings for me, just like the feelings I have for him. I shift my weight, uncomfortable. The others are fine with our arrangement…but what about Jacques? Because right now he’s looking at me as if he wants to own me.
“Right, I, uh…” I’m floundering, feeling heat rush to my cheeks. “I, uh…I don’t like being lonely,” I blurt. God, how stupid didthatsound?
Jacques’s face softens. “I don’t either,” he says quietly, and takes a tentative step toward me. My heart is in my throat, and I’m back to fighting the urge to fling my arms around him, to feel my heart beat against his and find out what his lips feel like against mine for real.
“I don’t think it’s stupid to question if you’re doing the right or wrong thing,” he says, taking the conversation in a totally different direction. I whirl back around to look at him. “I know you want to do the right thing. You and I…we’re alike in that aspect. And sometimes the right thing doesn’t seem like the best thing to do. Sometimes the right thing feels wrong.”
“That’s exactly how I feel right now.” I swallow hard, eyes trailing down Jacques’s muscular torso. “It’s making me question everything. Before, I knew I was doing the right thing. It might take a while to get results, but I knew I was making the world a better place.”
“And now?”
“Now I’m not sure. I mean, yeah, I get it. I’mtryingto get rid of the vampires. But it doesn’t feel like enough. I’m not giving my full attention to my job, and I feel really shitty about it.” I haven’t fully confessed it to myself yet. “I don’t know.” I shake my head and turn back to the sauce.
Jacques moves with such grace for someone his size. The energy around him is overwhelming, but not in a bad way. It surrounds me, fills me, makes me have to fight even harder to keep myself from turning and throwing my arms around his neck.
“Isn’t that what life is about?” His voice is low. “Doing the right thing…making the world a bit more livable, if not for yourself, then for others. I gave up my life in order to serve others and I still questioned if I did the right thing joining the Templars.”
“I thought you believed in their mission?”
“I did, but I was naive when I joined and thought everyone else did, too.”
“Oh, right. They kind of turned into money-grubbers, right?”
“Yes. I actually understand that saying.” His serious face lights up for a second.
“Thanks, I needed to hear that.” I reach for his hand. My fingers graze his skin and he flips his hand over, lacing his fingers through mine. My heart skips a beat and suddenly the dream comes to life, playing out before me in a flash and it’s like I remember everything.
The way his lips taste. The smooth feel of his hard cock in my hand. His gruff voice whispering something in my ear in a language I don’t know. But most of all, the painful longing in my heart.
Jacques yanks his hand back. This time I know for certain he saw it too. Stepping away, he looks at the ground, chest rapidly rising and falling as he sucks in air.
