“I thought about you today,” she started. “I thought I was going to daydream, but instead… I remembered a real moment. You. Not a dream version of you.” She paused. “I haven’t daydreamed much since we last saw each other.”
“I haven’t had any dreams either,” I admitted quietly. Nights had been black and empty. Working until I almost passed out, waking up to an obnoxiously loud alarm, and repeating. It was better that way. If I had to see her in my dreams, I wouldn’t have made it through the days.
She inched closer. I wanted to close the gap between us, but I couldn’t move.
“I don’t know what I’m doing here,” Jules said softly, her eyes meeting mine. “I just needed to see you.”
Before I could react, she leaned in to kiss me. I wanted to let her. I wanted nothing more than to pull her into me and kiss her until the world melted away. But instead, I drew back, gently gripping her arms to stop her.
“I can’t do this,” I said. “Nothing has changed. I'm clearly not ready to be the guy you and your kids need. And you... You still have a lot to sort out with your ex-husband. And possibly a new career." I smile at that, but it fades quickly. "And every time I have to leave you, it breaks me."
Her face fell, and I could see the pain my words caused. But it was the truth.
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I’ll go…” She stood quickly and walked toward the door. I followed each step feeling like a piece of me was being ripped away. Every part of me screamed to stop her, to grab her and hold on, but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t allow myself to keep hurting her. I had to let her go, even if it killed me.
At the door, she stopped and turned to look at me one last time.
“Can I say one last thing?” she asked, her eyes meeting mine.
“Of course.”
Her gaze was so intense that I could almost hear her thoughts, the internal debate playing out in real-time. Should she say it? Should she hold back? I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear it. Because if she said what I thought she was about to, letting her go would become impossible.
“I know we can’t make this work, but… I think I love you…” she exhaled like she’d been holding it in for too long. “Ineveryreality.”
That was it. That was my breaking point.
I couldn’t hold it together. I couldn’t keep pretending I was fine, that I didn’t ache for her in ways I’d never felt before.
I love you, too.I love you so much it physically hurts to be apart from you.I wanted to say it. But my body was faster than my brain. Before I could reconsider, I pulled closer, crashing our lips in a kiss that saideverything.
She melted in my arms, our bodies fitting so perfectly it was cruel we’d ever been apart. My hands instinctively found her lower back, pulling her tighter, holding her as if I clung hard enough, I’d never have to lose her again. I didn’t notice we were moving until her back hit my bed. I wasn’t even sure if I’d closed the door behind us because I couldn’t bring myself to pull away long enough to check.
We broke the kiss, gasping for air. I stared into her eyes, gently brushing her cheek with one hand. I’d promised myself I’d stay away. But I was a liar, clearly not strong enough to let her go. Not now. She needed to know how much I loved her before she walked away forever. I didn’t just want to say the words—I wanted to show her. In everyraw, primal way I could. With my kisses, with my whispered promises, with the way I looked at her like she was the only thing keeping me alive. I wanted to cook for her, feed her, love her in every possible way, on every surface in this damn house.
I wanted to cram a lifetime’s worth of love into one weekend since I was too much of a prick not to mess it up if it took more than that.
“Stay for the weekend,” I whispered. Almost begging.
“Chris…”
I couldn’t let her finish. “Please,” I said, my voice cracking and showing her how desperate I was. “Can we have a couple of days?” I searched her eyes, praying, hoping.
She smiled and then kissed me. The kiss started tender, gentle, and then it turned desperate, fiery, like we were making up for all the lost time. Her hands roamed up my back, pushing my shirt higher. I broke away long enough to yank it over my head, tossing it across the room.
Her dress was next. My hands slid up her stomach, taking the fabric with them. She arched slightly, letting me lift it higher, and then we broke apart so she would drag herself further back on the bed, slipping it over her head.
Those eyes. Locked onto mine, unblinking, like she physically couldn’t look away. Her lips were swollen from the hunger of our kiss. Her skin was already marked where my hands had gripped her too tightly, with red prints against her fair skin. She bit her lower lip, completely involuntarily, like she was already missing my mouth on hers.
She pushed down her shorts along with her underwear while I unbuckled my pants. By the time I moved back on top of her, fitting perfectly between her legs, there was nothing left between us. Just skin. Just heat.
I kissed her slowly, deep, my tongue sliding against hers, taking my time. Her hands tangled in my hair, nailsscratching lightly against my scalp like she needed something to hold onto, something to ground her.
I pressed myself against her entrance, not pushing in, just letting her feel me. She gasped against my lips. I pulled back to look at her, to take her in. And for the first time, I didn’t see the dream version of her when I looked at her.
I sawher.
And fuck, the way that hit me. Right in the center of my chest. More than any fantasy. More than any version of her my mind had ever conjured up.
