God, I sounded absolutely insane. And yet… he didn’t look away. He didn’t back up or laugh it off. He… stared at me.
Say something. Or maybe don’t.
Whatever he was going to say next, I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it.
“Like a Walter Mitty thing?” He asked, referencing the joke I’d made earlier.
I was wrong. That was perfect. I almost smiled. At least he wasn’t calling me crazy or looking for the nearest exit.
There was no turning back now. I’d been carrying this for years, shoving it down, trying to live my life like this shadow didn’t exist. And now here he was—this impossible, real-life version of my daydreams—giving me a chance to finally say it out loud.
“My marriage fell apart,” I said, the words tasting heavier than I expected, “because I was always drawn into this fantasy. This other world, one that only existed in my mind.”Shit.Tears were now slipping down my cheeks. I swiped them quickly. “This life, where you and I are together.”
Chris’ expression softened, his shoulders finally relaxed, his eyes no longer darting around looking for something to quiet his mind. They were resting on mine. And I could see he wasn’t recoiling or running but leaning into the moment.
“That’s…”
“Crazy?” I cut in with a self-deprecating smile.
“Yet comforting, somehow…” He said softly. And then, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, his hand came up to my face. He brushed a rogue tear away, and the way he looked at me—like he wasn’t afraid of my messy, insane truth—made me feel something I hadn’t in years:safe.
Was that the reason our bodies were pulled together like magnets? I usually wasn’t a fan of physical touch, especially with someone I barely knew, but with him, it felt different. It wasn’t just comfortable. It was needed. It was like he filled a space I didn’t even know was empty.
His eyes traveled to my mouth—it wasn’t a rational action, just a smooth shift, unforced and natural. But my body reacted nonetheless, a comforting heat blooming in my chest, almost enough to make the nervous pain in my stomach subside.
There it was. That invisible thread tugging at us, pulling us together. And then, as if on cue, the waiter opened the door, his voice cutting through the moment.
“Excuse me, sir. Where should I put these?”
I jumped like a startled cat, and Chris, visibly annoyed, waved toward the spot we’d been sitting in earlier. The poor waiter picked up on the tension, so he quickly set down the plates and wine, doing his best to be invisible.
I noticed Chris’ impatience, the way he barely acknowledged the guy, and felt a flicker of irritation. It was weird. I’d catch glimpses of the guy I’d dreamed about for years, and then, he’d switch back to this Hollywood stereotype. This wasn’t what I wanted, and he could tell by the look I gave him. So he muttered a stiff “Thank you.”
It sounded forced, but at least he tried.
The young man looked a little relieved, and I jumped in to smooth things over, giving him my warmest smile.
“Thanks,” I said, trying to signal that someone here had manners. He disappeared as fast as he’d come, leaving us alone again.
“What do we do now?” Chris asked, still rooted in the same spot. Maybe he thought I’d slide back over to where I was before the waiter showed up, so he finally kissed me. I knew he was about to do it before we were interrupted. And I wanted him to. So badly.
But if he kissed me now, I wasn’t going to be able to stop myself from going all in, and I needed a minute to wrap my head around whatever this was. If I let that insane pull win, I didn’t think I would be able to see clearly again. I would be completely and totally absorbed by it. Mind, soul… and body.
So, I exhaled slowly and looked down at the plate beside us. The food looked delicious. Shrugging, I gave him a small smile.
“Eat?”
Act human. Now.
Chris wasn’t doing as good a job as I was at acting serene.
“I’m not sure how this works. I’m not exactly a religious or deep-science kind of guy.”
Neither was I, but it’s not like I had any answers. What were we supposed to do? Whip out our phones and Google,“Why am I daydreaming about someone I’ve never met IRL?”Iimagined the results would point me to a mental health hotline or something. The thought made me laugh softly, almost breaking the tension as I took a seat.
He tilted his head, studying me. “Why aren’t you freaking out?”
“I am.” I really was. My mind? Total chaos.
