He reached out mentally towards that wall of fire she kept around herself, and he stroked against it gently.Emmeric could feel the heat from the flames, but they didn’t burn.Iyana sucked in a small breath at the contact, and the block against their bond dropped instantly.Before he could say anything, she ripped herself out of his grasp and walked swiftly back to the wagon.He let her go, knowing this was difficult for her.
Emmeric realized he needed to let her be and give her time to herself, but he found himself unable to do so.He was trying not to push too much onto her, and to respect her boundaries, but he also knew she needed someone to help pull her free from her own thoughts.
Whenever you need me, I’ll be there, Emmeric thought, willing her to understand.
Iyana turned at the back of the wagon and stared at him as if she had heard him, then disappeared inside.
Chapter 11
Zane
Thesilenceintheback of the wagon was deafening.For days, the three of them sat quietly, huddling together for warmth.Kaz could be heard chatting away with Emmeric as they drove the horses forward.Zane opened his mouth to strike up a conversation dozens of times before thinking better of it and staying silent.Small talk had never been his forte.Plus, all three of them were dealing with their own personal demons.It was difficult to don a mask and pretend all the time—he would know, he’d only had to hide himself from his father for his entire life.
At night, sitting around a fire, Talon would make an effort to be his usual effervescent self by bantering with Kaz.But his smiles never quite made it to his eyes, and his laughter was lackluster.They slept next to each other without touching or talking.Even his normally bright red and wavy hair hung limp around him.Zane hated seeing him this way—obviously not caring about the things he used to.
One such night, as they were finally leaving the snow and bitter cold behind, Tal was sitting on a log and staring out into the trees.Zane and Emmeric exchanged a worried glance.Talon must have seen it, though, because he huffed and stood suddenly, striding away from the rest of the group.
“I’ll go,” Zane said to Emmeric, who was already halfway to standing.Em nodded in understanding and sat back down next to Iyana.
A small amount of panic jolted through Zane when he couldn’t immediately find Talon, but he sighed in relief as he spotted him sitting with his back against a tree.His head was tilted back and his eyes were closed.Zane thought he was beautiful with the moonlight shining upon him.He looked almost serene.
Zane stood there for several moments, just staring, unsure of what to do.He didn’t know what role he was supposed to take in this scenario.Although they had said they loved each other, that was before Talon had died.After that experience, maybe he didn’t feel the same way anymore.Zane was terrified to ask, mostly because if Talon didn’t love him or didn’t want to be with him, then he would like to postpone that conversation for as long as possible.They had never really been ‘together’ to begin with.They’d never had the chance to discuss labels or what they were to each other before everything happened with Altair.
One of Talon’s eyelids peeked open to look at Zane before closing again.
“Well, if you’re going to follow me, you might as well come sit down.”Tal patted the ground next to him absently.
Zane took a seat, brushing his arm against Talon’s in a subtle gesture, then hugging his knees to his chest.Tal remained motionless.
“Talon…” Zane started hesitantly.
Tal sighed.
“I need you to talk to me.How can I help you?”
Tal shrugged and said nothing.
“My soul,” he tried again.“Please.Tell me how I can help you.”
“You want to know how you can help, Zane?”Talon snapped.“You can stop treating me like I’m fucking fragile.You’re all walking on eggshells around me, scared to talk to me about anything, and I’m sick of it.I’m adjusting.I just need time.”His tirade completed, Talon’s chest heaved.
“Okay, Talon.”Zane bridged the gap between them to grasp the other man’s hand.Their fingers intertwined.“It’s okay to not be okay, Tal.We all have times where we’d rather crawl away from everything and hide than face our problems head on.Gods know, I’ve had plenty of those moments.You, more than any other person I know, are entitled to feeling this way.”Zane gripped his hand.“You are my soul, and I’m here for you always.In any capacity you’ll have me.If you want to yell at me, have at it.If you want to shatter and fall apart, know I’ll always be here to pick up the pieces.Or if you want to rage at the world and set it on fire, I’ll light the match for you.Then I’ll hold your hand as we watch it burn.”
Talon’s beautiful blue eyes finally looked at Zane with a familiar spark of warmth.“Thank you,” he whispered.
Zane drew him in and wrapped his arm around Talon’s shoulder, tucking him securely in his side.Soon, his breathing slowed and evened out.It wasn’t how Zane had thought the conversation would go, but progress was progress.He only needed to remember to treat Talon the way he always had instead of as if he was breakable.He’d make sure the others knew as well.Hopefully, it would pull Talon back quicker.
Astheymovedfarthersouth, they found more and more people on the road heading in the same direction.They wore ragged clothing and only carried a sack or two each.Some only carried children, without any provisions that could be seen.Their bodies and faces were covered in dirt, and their eyes were haunted—even the children’s.
It broke Zane’s heart to see his people so displaced, and there was nothing he could do about it.He had no coin to give them, no safe place for them to stay, no words of encouragement.He couldn’t even expose himself as their emperor—what message would it send that their leader had sequestered himself away in the back of a wagon in order to avoid being recognized?
So he did what he could when they stopped for the night.He’d go fire to fire, making sure everyone was well-fed and had enough water.For those who were lacking basic necessities, he’d go hunting for small game so that they all could eat.Kaz helped as well in her leopard form.The children were scared of her the first time she shifted, but soon they were riding on her back and giggling.Iyana flitted among the sick, healing ailments when she could, making others comfortable when she couldn’t.All the while, they were careful not to share their names or who they were, and Iyana only used enough magic that any healer might possess.They had cautioned Kaz against shifting in front of strangers, but, true to form, she had decided to do what she wanted instead.
They began to pick up on the whispers of the refugees saying that Athusia had fallen.People were starting to go missing.Mothers and fathers would leave for work in the morning, then never return.There were rumors that the royal family—Uther and Zane, both—had been killed or were imprisoned beneath the castle.Or worse, that they had voluntarily handed the empire over to the stars.Rigil Kentaurus sat upon the golden throne now; his name was spoken in a whisper in case it invoked his presence.
Zane was appalled.He wanted nothing more than to march directly to Athusia and challenge Rigil for his throne.He understood this was foolhardy, that he would be killed within seconds, but the desire to defend his empire and his people was strong.
So, instead, he did what he could with what was right in front of him.He aided his people and helped guide them towards a safe place.
