Emmeric’s gaze snapped back up to her face, and he grinned widely.“What harm is a little fondling between friends?”
Iyana scoffed and rolled her eyes.“You wish.”
“Why, Mouse?Are you scared you’d like it?”
“This was a mistake,” Iyana whispered.Because, yes, she was afraid she would like it.She was afraid that because of the bond between them as the Aztia and Kanaliza, she was drawn to Emmeric more than was healthy.She’d onlyjusthad her heart ripped from her chest by Altair.How could she possibly trust anyone again?Iyana refused to put herself in such a vulnerable position.It would be better to keep her distance from Emmeric, because it would be all too easy to fall into the comfort he offered.
“No, Mouse,” he said, shaking his head.“You obviously slept.The circles under your eyes aren’t as deep anymore.”
The fact he had noticed the change in her sleep both thrilled and terrified her.“I probably passed out from sheer exhaustion.”
Pity and disappointment flowed freely to her down their bond.
“You and I both know how exhausted you’ve been since we left the Dead Lands, and we both also understand that it’s never stopped your nightmares before.I know you, Iyana.You’re trying to run away from the things you’re feeling.That’s fine.Nine hells, I understand completely.Someone you trusted implicitly just betrayed you in the worst possible way.I know more than anyone that the last thing you need right now is to worry about what we are to each other.So let me be a friend.Someone who cares enough to try to keep your demons at bay.Let me be that for you, Mouse.”
Tears filled Iyana’s vision, blurring Emmeric’s image in front of her.Before she realized he’d moved, he was in front of her, wiping the drops that had fallen unbidden down her cheek.
“Let me help you, Mouse.Let me in.”He pressed his brow to Iyana’s.
“Okay,” she whispered.She hated herself for needing the comfort—that she wasn’t strong enough to face this on her own.Iyana hated that Altair had done this to her, turned her from a person who trusted so easily to now trusting none.
“And I’ll make sure I watch my hands more closely while I’m sleeping,” he said, pulling away.“If you need me to stay again, of course.I didn’t mean it to sound like I was going to be sleeping in your bed every night.”
A smile found its way onto Iyana’s face.“I know what you meant, Em.Thank you.”She pressed her palm gently to Emmeric’s cheek, and he leaned into her touch with a small sigh.
Before she would allow herself to touch him more, Iyana slunk away to the bathing room.She leaned back against the door and sighed, closing her eyes.She decided she’d let Emmeric in, but only to the periphery.Iyana could absolutely not let him in fully—friend or otherwise.It would take a staggering amount of self-discipline, but she vowed to keep Emmeric at an arm’s length.
Thatday,asTeamSave Arinem reconvened, they all agreed that they had stayed in one place for too long, and it was time to leave the comfort of the library.The plan was still to make their way to Nyr, where they could hopefully find another safe place to stay.Kaz guaranteed them that her family could provide them with protection away from the stars.When asked how, the shifter said she could only explain once they were within Nyr’s borders.
“Kingdom secrets and all that,” she’d said with a wink.
They spent one more night so that they could ready their supplies and the horses.The storm had died down, and they would need to use the brief window to hopefully leave the northern part of Athusa as quickly as possible.Much of their evening was spent arguing over what to take from the library.Zane and Kaz both felt it was wrong to remove any books from the ancient library; that it was akin to sacrilege.However, Kaz thought it was okay to take some of the artifacts, even if they weren’t completely sure what they all did.Emmeric, Iyana, and Talon were of the opinion that they should take books that could be useful, as they most likely wouldn’t be coming back here.Iyana wanted to take the Lurra but was wary of Khollo’s Downfall.The men were all firmly against taking any of the artifacts, saying they were too dangerous.The items were volatile, and there was too much they didn’t understand about them.
The ledger that Zane had found only told them that‘lurra’ meant‘souls’ in an ancient, unnamed language, and that one of the keepers of the library had tried to open the box once, then was never seen again.Hence the warning on the plaque.
In the end, they landed in some sort of compromise—they would take a couple of books that seemed to contain vital information and the Lurra.Despite the risks, they had decided it would be better to have one of the artifacts than nothing, and the keeper easily could have disappeared through other, less nefarious means.Kaz argued about bringing Khollo’s Downfall, swearing it would be helpful, but she was outvoted.
Their debate lasted most of the day, and they trudged into their rooms, mentally exhausted.Iyana did not invite Emmeric back into the bed that night.
The next day dawned with clear skies, and the group left the library early, just as the sun was cresting the horizon.Iyana, Zane, and Talon continued to huddle in the back of the wagon.While she was able to warm herself slightly with her magic, she did not yet trust herself to extend that magic to others.So she warmed her own skin and sat scrunched between the two men, sharing body heat.
Talon was still uncharacteristically silent.Although she saw that he was trying to come back or was masking his pain with the occasional bit of humor, it was clear that he continued to suffer.Iyana was too nervous to bring up what they had discussed on the banks of the Everlands, but she figured if he wanted to talk about it, he would.She also didn’t know how much he’d told Zane and would hate to betray his confidence in that way.Judging that they were sitting on opposite sides of her, not touching or conversing in any way, Iyana hazarded a guess that they hadn’t shared much lately.
Her heart hurt for her friends.Iyana had been selfish after they had freed her from the dungeons.Looking back, she knew she would have stayed with Altair at the time—although she wished she would have listened to Emmeric all along—but she could have sent Em and Tal back to Athusia and out of harm’s way.
She was the reason Talon had died and was now mostly catatonic.
She was the reason Zane had been captured and tortured by his father.
She was the reason the world was now occupied by stars bent on becoming gods.
The three of them jolted as the wagon came to a sudden stop.Iyana thought they would not be stopping for another couple of hours at least, because they were trying to get out of the snow and cold as swiftly as possible.
Emmeric’s face appeared at the door of the wagon.
“What’s wrong?”Zane asked.
But Emmeric ignored him, staring at Iyana.“Come here,” he said, his voice low.
