Fuck it, he decided.His mental health was important, too.
“Tal,” he ventured.
A deep sigh sounded next to him.“Not right now, Zane.”
Zane turned towards the redhead.His normally well-kept hair was wet and tangled, plastered to the pillow.His eyes were listless, staring up at the ceiling like Zane had been himself not that long before.“Talon…my soul—”
“I said, not now,” Talon snapped.
Hurt speared through him, and Zane struggled not to show it on his face.He was so used to Talon being his safe space, where he didn’t need to wear a mask, but he’d been slowly donning one again to keep from spooking the other man.Zane reminded himself they hadn’t actually known each other that long.And while he was absolutely sure he loved Talon, if he wasn’t what was best for him anymore, then Zane would step aside.Talon deserved happiness, and if that wasn’t with him…Well, it would rip his soul apart to let Tal go, but he would.If it helped, he would.
Zane glanced at his side again.Talon hadn’t moved, and he continued to stare at the ceiling, his normally bright blue eyes dull.As if he felt Zane’s gaze on him, he huffed another sigh and rolled over so that he was facing away.The emperor stared at Tal’s back for several minutes, silently pleading with him to turn towards him and have a conversation.But soon his breathing evened out, and Zane knew he had fallen asleep.
Flopping back onto the bed, Zane tucked his hands behind his head.Tears threatened, burning his sinuses and the back of his throat.He squeezed his eyes shut to keep them from falling.
He would try again in the morning.
Chapter 8
Emmeric
Talonlaywherehehad fallen—his red hair strewn about his head could not hide the unnatural angle of his neck.His chest refused to rise.Zane’s keening cries pierced the air.
Looking down, Emmeric saw Iyana in his lap, also motionless.He thanked any gods that were listening for allowing her heart to continue beating.But it was weak and thready.He didn’t know how much longer she could hold on.The object of all of his hatred stood in front of them, leering down upon the scene he’d created.
Altair.
The star’s triumphant face morphed into Uther’s, then Azazel’s, then a man-sized rat.The four visages changed in rapid succession, all of them grinning manically.Screams erupted within his mind, but they were not his own.Iyana…Where had Iyana gone?
Emmeric jolted awake and almost fell out of the wingback chair he’d been sleeping in.The fire had burned down to embers, casting an eerie glow about the room.All was silent other than the storm that continued to rage outside the library’s walls.He ran a hand down his face in an attempt to dispel the nightmare.They had been plaguing him more often as of late.Usually, it was the memories of the battle—watching Iyana fight Uther alone, seeing Talon take a killing blow for him, feeling Iyana dying within his arms—but, occasionally, there were images and sounds that he couldn’t place.Emmeric could not recall a time that either Uther or Azazel had stared down at him.
With a shock of sudden clarity, Emmeric didn’t know how he had not realized it sooner.Those were Iyana’s memories filtering into his own nightmares.So if he had been dreaming of Uther and Azazel…
Just then, he heard a moan coming from the bed.Emmeric lit a candle and moved to Iyana’s side.She was thrashing in the sheets, blankets tangled in her limbs.Her hair was everywhere and plastered to sweaty, pale skin.Soft groans and cries escaped her bloodless lips, and a single tear ran down her cheek.
Emmeric soothed a hand down her face as he sent calming, comforting thoughts through their bond.Iyana’s movements stilled, and she sighed.Her face relaxed, and he thought she would be able to get some decent sleep now.Before he went back to his own rest in the uncomfortable chair, Emmeric wiped the tear from her face.If he could keep her from this suffering, he would do so in a heartbeat.Without hesitation, he would shoulder her burdens so that she wouldn’t have to carry the weight.He knew they were slowly crushing her; he knew she was suffocating.
Iyana’s lashes fluttered open, her light brown eyes finding his blue ones.They stared at each other for a moment.Emmeric’s hand was still on her face.He absentmindedly stroked her cheek, offering more comfort and solidarity.I’m here, Mouse, he thought.We’re all suffering, but I’m here for you.Emmeric couldn’t find the courage to voice the thought aloud.The room was too quiet, and he didn’t want to break whatever spell had come over the two of them.Iyana raised her hand to cover his and sighed again.
“Will you stay?”she whispered.
“Of course,” he murmured.“I’m right over there.”He gestured towards the chair with his head while simultaneously tucking a sweat-soaked strand of hair off Iyana’s forehead and behind her ear.
She shook her head.“I mean here.In the bed.”
His heart stuttered in his chest.“Are you sure, Mouse?”
Iyana nodded silently, and Emmeric found himself unable to deny her pleading gaze.Fear and trepidation flowed towards him freely, and that settled it in his mind.But he must have hesitated for a second too long, or else she’d felt his indecision through their bond because another tear fell down her cheek.
“Please, Emmeric,” Iyana whispered.“I need you.”
Emmeric climbed into the bed gently before either of them could change their mind.If he protested any further Iyana would shut down and dismiss the entire thing.And she’d never ask him to do this for her again.Emmeric was unfortunately well aware of how badly rejection could sting, and he did not want Iyana to think that he would ever deny her.
Iyana’s body stiffened ever so slightly as he settled himself in bed behind her.Emmeric made sure he was not touching her.He stared hard at the ceiling, hoping she’d fall back asleep quickly.
Instead, she rolled towards him and curled into his body.His arm instinctually came around her, tucking her more firmly into his side.She never once looked at Emmeric, but she placed her hand on his chest and closed her eyes.Soon her breathing matched his own rhythm, and she slipped into a deep sleep.Emmeric’s hand twitched on her waist.He could barely believe he was in this position.After watching her fall in love with someone else, then feeling her heartbreak, he never thought Iyana would allow him in like this.
Emmeric swore he’d never take anything she gave him for granted and he would shelter Iyana’s heart with his entire soul.If he had any say in the matter, nobody would ever hurt her again.
