Her doubt did not lessen.Emmeric vowed to make her realize how special she truly was.She was talented, loving, and so strong, but she couldn’t see it.Iyana was her own biggest critic.But now was not the time to tell her all of those things.Not with an audience, and not when they were supposed to be strategizing.
“We could hire a cart,” Zane said.“Then the three of us could hide in the back while Emmeric and Kaz drive it.”
“How are we going to buy a cart?”Iyana asked.“We don’t have any coin.”
Zane smirked.“I am the emperor of Athusa, am I not?Plus, there’s enough gold in this room to buy an entire house.”
Iyana rolled her eyes at the uncharacteristic display of arrogance.“None of them will know Uther is dead.And what are we going to do with his men and the crew?”
Now the emperor frowned.“We’ll have to take the men to the jail in Curth.They’d be able to substantiate the claims that Uther is dead.The crew…there’s not much we can do with them.”
“Do we really want it advertised that Uther is dead and you are in Curth?”Talon asked.“It seems like a good way to draw the stars to us, if they aren’t there already.”
“I don’t think there’s much other choice.I’ll have to use my status to get us a cart, and to arrest Uther’s men.You and Iyana will need to stay hidden, though.”
“And the crew?They know we’re alive,” Iyana said.
Kaz shrugged.“Just kill them all.”Four pairs of shocked faces turned towards the shifter.“What?Then there’s no problem.”
“Kaz,” Iyana said, “we are not killing the crew.They’ve done nothing wrong.”
“You’re the boss.”Kaz gave Iyana a mock salute.
“I’ll figure something out before we dock tomorrow,” Zane said, rubbing his eyes with his finger and thumb.Talon massaged his neck.
“Let’s all get some more rest,” said the redhead.“We’ll need it before tomorrow.”
They all agreed to meet at dawn the next morning, then parted ways.Iyana yawned and padded off towards the bathing room on weary feet.Emmeric hoped she could work through everything that had happened, or at least let him in enough that he could help her.Otherwise, she may be more of a liability on this next part of their journey rather than an asset.
Chapter 5
Iyana
Iyanasatinthebathing tub, taking advantage of this small luxury, as she wasn’t sure when she would be able to take another bath.She trailed her fingers through the warm water.The lavender and eucalyptus oil she’d added to the bath calmed her nerves, albeit only slightly.
The thought of leaving this ship filled her with dread.
A sense of calm washed over her, warm like the water she was soaking in.Iyana pushed it away, back towards Emmeric.She didn’t want calm or happy just yet.Instead, she’d rather wallow in a numb darkness, trying to shove aside any unpleasant emotions that might rear their ugly head.Emmeric meant well, and she understood that, which was why she hadn’t said anything about it.
Ever since Emmeric had poured her stored magic back into her, she was more aware of his presence than ever.Like, at the moment, Iyana could sense him sitting outside the bathing room doors with his back against the wall, waiting for her to be done.It was the only amount of privacy she was afforded.In the past, she would have spoken to him about his stifling, protective nature, but now Iyana actually appreciated having him nearby.If he were to leave their rooms while she was in the bath, she knew she’d immediately dress and seek him out.It was a conundrum—she didn’t want to talk to anybody, yet she was terrified of being alone.That first night, she’d asked him to stay, and he had promised he wouldn’t leave her by herself; so far, he’d held to that promise.
As the water cooled, Iyana used her fire to heat it again, not quite willing to face Emmeric.He’d want to talk to her.He had been trying to get her to open up to him since they’d been on the ship.But the journey was a blur of seasickness and nightmares, creating a combination that made her even more averse to discussing what had happened with Altair.
Eventually, she could no longer justify staying in the bath once her skin had become wrinkled beyond recognition.Iyana dried herself off with a luxurious, fluffy towel, not trusting herself to use her magic for the job.She’d hate to singe off her eyebrows.
“What do you need, Iyana?”Emmeric asked gently as soon as she walked out the door.
Without a word, she pushed past him and trudged to the bed.It was a gigantic bed that could fit four people, but she slept alone in it while Emmeric slept nearby in a chair.She couldn’t help but notice the way he’d rub and stretch his neck every morning.Iyana knew he wasn’t comfortable, but she wasn’t brave enough to invite him to sleep in the bed.Try as she might, it was impossible to ignore the emotions Emmeric had been experiencing since everything had happened—fear, helplessness, longing, and…love.She knew how Em felt about her, and she didn’t want to lead him on or get his hopes up that something could happen between them.
Iyana was finding it hard to fully trust anyone now.Even her friends.After Altair…
The star had played her expertly, and she had fallen for him every step of the way.Emmeric had tried to warn her, multiple times, and she’d brushed him off, or outright shouted at him.She’d been incredulous that Emmeric had refused to trust the star—but she should have been listening to him the entire time.Iyana wished he’d simply tell her ‘I told you so.’But because he refused to, it made her feel even more wretched.She deserved it.Because of her choices, now all of Arinem could be in danger—no longer from a despotic emperor, but from a multitude of powerful beings.Because of her, humanity was doomed to fall back into slavery.Because of her, Talon had died.Shehad put that haunted look into both his and Zane’s eyes.Iyana didn’t know if her friend would ever fully recover, returning to his typical jovial and optimistic self.There was no way she could ever forgive herself for that.
“Hey,” Emmeric soothed, sitting on the edge of the bed next to her.Iyana rolled onto her side, facing away from him.She’d been trying to keep her emotions under lock and key, preferring to reside in a dark numbness, but sometimes they would slip free.Emmeric knew she was feeling guilty, and she hated that he was the one trying to comfort her when she was the reason he’d almost lost his lifelong best friend.If anything, he should hate her; he should be cursing her name; he should refuse to ever see her again.
Hells, she hated herself.
Emmeric sighed.“Mouse,” he started, but then words seemed to fail him as he simply stroked her hair in silence.He cleared his throat multiple times, as if he was about to say something, but then he sighed again.His fingers brushed lightly across her jaw before he disappeared into the bathing room.
