“No need,” Kaz said. “I’ve been meaning to, uh, try to catch an owl. So I’ll go…do that.” She shifted quickly and the blackleopard loped away.
Emmeric rubbed the back of his neck, the air between them suddenly awkward. They hadn’t been alone since that damned run. He motioned towards a nearby couch. “Do you want to sit?”
“Okay,” she said. Iyana sat on the couch, folding her legs underneath her, but her body angled towards him. He sat as far from her as possible while still staying on the sofa. “You’ve been avoiding me.”
“W-what?” Emmeric stammered. “No, I haven’t, whatever gave you—”
“Em, it’s okay. I get it. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. You’re absolutely right. I’m in no position to be jealous, and you have every right to be with whomever you please.”
He had not been expecting an apology. Nor an admission of jealousy. Not from this stubborn woman. Emmeric beamed internally—she didn’t relish seeing Kaz with him. He’d take it as a win for him and a loss for Altair. Although the overall scoreboard showed the star was winning.
“Thank you,” he said. “I’m sorry for how that conversation happened. There were better ways I could have conveyed everything.”
“Friends?” she asked hopefully.
“Friends.” They smiled at each other, the bond warming in his chest. Iyana’s fingers brushed against her own chest, but when she noticed him watching those delicate and deft fingers hovering over her breasts, she diverted them to the necklace she wore constantly. The one Altair had made for her from Imo’s ashes. Reluctantly, he asked her once how she had kept it during her stay in thedungeon; he knew the prisoners were stripped bare and divested of all personal possessions. Her eyes had lost their focus, and he’d immediately regretted the question. But she had answered, saying there was a loose stone in the wall of her cell and she had shoved it in there.
“That actually brings me to why I wanted to talk to you.” Her hands fell to her lap, toying with the hem of her tunic. She focused on her fingers now instead of Emmeric. “You’ve channeled calming emotions to me through the bond twice,” she said in a matter-of-fact tone.
He saw no point in denying it. “I have.”
“You can sense it here.” She tapped her chest. “When I’m upset.”
“I can.” Iyana finally looked at him, a small frown tugging the corners of her lips down. He briefly imagined kissing that frown away, ravaging her mouth, then shoved the thought out. There was no use thinking of impossible things.
“And I think I can feel when you’re upset as well.”
Now that was interesting. Emmeric had often wondered if the bond was reciprocated, or if he alone sensed her pain or strife while she was blind to his. “Can you?”
“In the woods while we were… I felt your hurt and anger. I thought maybe it was mine at first, but once I studied it more closely, those weren’t the emotions I was experiencing in the moment.”
“I can feel your pain too,” he said softly. “Your physical pain.”
Iyana’s eyes widened. “So when I was in…?”
Emmeric nodded, glancing over her shoulder. The conversation was suddenly too intimate. “I felt what you did. Not as acutely, more of an echo. But it was how I realized something was happening to you, and where you were. How I knew to bring the numbing draught. I hated every second you were in the dungeon, Iyana, and I should have done more.”
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that. And you did enough. You kept me sane, present, and you took away the worst of the pain.” Sighing, she reached forward like she wanted to touch him, to comfort him, but curled her fingers and her hand retreated.
“Please don’t apologize, Mouse. Not for that.” Now he purposefully held her gaze for her to see his earnestness. “Never for that.”
Iyana cleared her throat. “Can I feel your pain?” she asked. Emmeric understood the topics were becoming too heavy. But he had kept her sane, diminished her pain, and she recognized it. His spirit soared higher, knowing he had helped her, that she appreciated his actions.
“Only one way to find out.” Emmeric reached into his boot, removing the knife he always kept there for emergencies. Attacks from an enemy were unpredictable, and he always liked to be prepared. Iyana raised an eyebrow at him, and he shrugged. The sharp edge of the knife sliced into his palm with a burning pain, blood welling to the surface immediately.
Iyana hissed, clutching at her own hand. But as the pain faded into the background, she marveled at her unblemished skin, trailing a finger across her palm.Emmeric observed her silently, his hand continuing to bleed. Wonder and curiosity overtook her, as she turned her hand and found no physical injury. Blood dripped on the floor, removing Iyana from her reverie as she finally noticed he was actually injured. She gestured towards his knife.
“May I?” she asked. He handed it to her without question. Iyana used the point of the knife to prick her fingertip, then drew her bloody finger across the laceration in his palm. The skin knitted closed in her wake. Soft fingers lingered in his palm after they were both fully healed. Her gaze stayed locked on their hands, but Emmeric studied her. He thought she didn’t realize how expressive her face was. There was never an emotion she felt without him being able to read it in her expression. Right now, she was curious, awed, confused, and a little sad. Emmeric saw them all flit across her face and through their bond. He had been silently practicing listening it to it more and discerning the different emotions, so that if the time ever came, he’d be better able to protect her. Even if he couldn’t see she was in danger, he’d be able to sense it.
Emmeric curled his fingers around her hand and stroked her knuckles with his thumb. Iyana’s gaze wouldn’t move away from their connected hands. Putting his other finger under her chin, he lifted her head to look him in the eyes.
“Mouse, I—I don’t want to fight, and I realize I told you to leave me alone, but…” He heaved a deep sigh. “I need you to understand. This thing with Kaz, it’s only for fun. It doesn’t mean anything to either of us. I don’t want her, not forever. I wantyou.”Fuck. He hadn’t meant to say the last part. This woman always had him saying more than he intended.
Iyana opened her mouth, but he squeezed her hand. He’d already said it, might as well lay everything out. Maybe if it was out in the open instead of a secret kept close to his chest, it wouldn’t hurt so much.
“Please, let me say my piece,” he pleaded. She nodded. “You’re with Altair. Gods,Iknowthat, but it kills me to see you wrapped in his arms. Your soul calls to mine. It’s been this way, I think, since we locked eyes across Imothia. Before all of this went sideways and got out of hand. I think you’re beautiful, Iyana, and so smart, resourceful, and loving. I guess…I’m just trying to say I’m here for you. Always. If you’ll have me.”
Iyana gazed at him, tears forming. Her sadness wrapped around his heart like a weight, and it crushed any hope he might have held for a future with her. “Emmeric, I… but Altair—”
