Talon grinned widely. “My parents are great. I didn’t fully realize I found men attractive until Emmeric moved in when we were fifteen. After finding one living in my bedroom and all that entails.” He laughed. Envy created a twisting sensation in Zane’s stomach.
“Were you two…?”
“Oh, gods, no. I might have had a little crush at first, but I got over it quickly when I realized he didn’t care for me or any guysthatway. But I told him before I told my parents, and he stood with me, ready to fight my dad if things didn’t go well. My parents didn’t care, though. They said they loved me no matter what and looked forward to the day I’d bring someone I loved home.” Talon skimmed a finger across Zane’s cheek. “I’m sure your mother would have been the same. I never had the honor of meeting her, but I’ve only ever heard positive things about Empress Selena.”
A burning started in Zane’s sinuses, tears threatening. So he steered from sadness and longing into another emotion—jealousy. “Did your parents ever meet someone?”
“No,” Talon said, matter-of-factly. “I’ve dated, of course, but as you said before—none of it felt right.”
Tal’s normally jovial face suddenly became serious, a line forming between his eyebrows. Zane wanted to smooth the line away and shoulder all his burdens. Talon’s gaze dropped to Zane’s lips, and he momentarily lost the ability to breathe.
“But this feels right,” Tal said. Then he closed the short distance between them and placed his lips on Zane’s. Lightly, like he was asking a question. It took less than a second for Zane to kiss him back. Talon moaned and gripped the back of his head, dragging him closer. It did feel right. Although he’d only recently started talking to this soldier who had worked for him for multiple years, there was an undeniable connection there.
Panic, electric and fierce, jolted him backwards and away from Talon, his chest constricting. He saw hurt flash through Tal’s eyes, but he immediately schooled his expression. Zane hid behind his hands, unable to face the first man he’d kissed in ten years. The first man he’dwantedto kiss in ten years.
“I’m sorry,” he said, muffled, guilt eating at him. Zane hated dumping his trauma on others, instead dealing with it all internally until he felt close to breaking.
Talon gently pried his hands away. “No, I’m sorry. You just told me all that shit about your father, and I shouldn’t rush you.”
Zane exhaled a shaky breath.
“Look, this can be a one-off. It doesn’t need to mean anything if you don’t want it to.”
“And if I want it to mean something?” Zane asked meekly. His heart squeezed with warring emotions. One side desperately wanted to kiss Talon again, but the other side was where the fear of his father resided. He was broken, his spirit shattered. Uther had done his job successfully, ensuring Zane was terrified of him, even at a great distance. Talon smiled reassuringly, brushing back a dark curl which had fallen on Zane’s face.
“You’re in charge here, Zane. However fast or slow you want to take things is fine with me. If you want nothing to do with me ever again, I’ll do what’s best for you.” He paused, seeming to weigh his words. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you since Huton. There was a different side to you on the road, more carefree. You laughed. I can tell there’s a reason this scares you, and I’m here to listen if you ever want to tell me.”
“Thank you,” Zane whispered.
“I’ll sleep in the chair tonight,” Talon said.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I do,” he said, already climbing out of the bed. “Because I don’t know if I can keep my hands to myself.” Zane’s heart wanted to beat out of his chest. He laid in bed, watching Talon observe him from the chair. They didn’t speak, and instead enjoyed each other’s silent companionship.
The next morning, the small company prepared to leave. Zane asked Geoff and Gordon to remain in the small village, staying on the lookout for any others who might be hunting for Iyana. If some came through, they were to either dispatch them discreetly or ride hard to warn their group. The twins were all too happy to stay at the warm inn, with a bed, instead of becoming progressively colder as they rode towards the library. Not that anyone had told Zane it was their destination, but it was the only logical conclusion. He honestly did not blame Iyana for not trusting him. Were their situations reversed, he wouldn’t be trusting either.
Unfortunately for Iyana, Ryunn missed his brother and encroached on Pryn’s space as often as possible, which brought Zane toe to toe with Altair and Iyana. She’d glare daggers at him any time they wandered too close, and he would shrug and gesture towards the horse. He would try to gently urge Ryunn away, directing him towards Talon and Emmeric instead, but the horse inevitably drifted back to his brother’s side. Altair seemed nonplussed by Zane’s presence and appeared to be trying to sway Iyana into acceptance. It was not working.
“Go away,” she snapped later in the afternoon.
“Astalle,” Altair chided. Zane had heard the name a few times throughout the day and asked Talon about it. He’d said it was Iyana’s surname, but Altair used it as a pet name for her. Something niggled at the back of Zane’s brain, and he wondered if there was more to this pet name than what everyone took at face value.
“What? I’ve begrudgingly allowed him to come along. It doesn’t mean I need to like him.” Iyana’s voice snapped him back to the present, and he had to pry Ryunn away again.
“Look,” Zane said, “dislike me all you want; I honestly deserve it. I did want to take this time, though, to apologize for raiding your village. While I was doing so under orders, you’re right that my voice carries more weight and I should have learned to be louder by now. It’s something I’m going to work on.”
He saw Altair subtly poke Iyana’s side. “Thanks for the apology,” she grumbled, with all the grace of a five-year-old child.
“I would appreciate it if I could ask my questions…”
“No.”
Zane’s face fell. “I know we’re goingto the library.”
Iyana whipped her head over to him. “Who told you?” Her tone promised retribution for whoever had opened their mouth.
“Nobody.” She narrowed her eyes. “Promise. It’s the only logical conclusion. Seeing as there’s little else in this part of the continent.”
