We met in a private room atGlory’s Soul Foodtonight. We changed where we met every month. Sometimes, we met at the church, at my house, pastor’s house, or different eating establishments. My men’s group was one that you had to be a fit for because I was proud to say we were all real niggas in this group and a real white boy.
Real Men Love the Lord was where you could come to be in a secret place with other men as we walked our unique walks with Big G. All of our walks were different, and we all fell short. Here was the place that we could acknowledge that while we sought the wisdom of others around us and Big G. It was a place where, if needed, we could and would correct each other in brotherly love.
“Yeah, you can’t have those babies out here thinking the world is cotton candy and lollipops. That could get them killed,” I admitted. “I want my kids to know what they need to know, when they need to know it. There’re levels to everything.” I threwmy head back. “Ugh. I know Travis is a good kid, but I just want my baby to stay a baby.”
Croy tittered. “I’ll be the first to tell you that’s not how any of this works. I didn’t come into Croya’s life until she was sixteen years old, so I missed all of those baby, toddler, and kid years. Now my baby is a wife and a mother.” His hand went up to the two necklaces that he wore that held the pendants that he received as Christmas gifts.
“Yeah, it was your heathenish son-in-law that brought Travis into our lives,” I jested. “Jabari, how’s things going in your neck of the woods? I know you been having issues with temptation.”
His light brown face brightened with his risen frustration. “Mega! I’m all cool with following the Lord, being good to my fellow man, not stealing, coveting, and all that. I even agree with the whole unjustifiable killing, but no pussy? How you managed that?”
Here is the entrance to the slippery slope.How much of the truth did I want to tell them. I had never been a man that wasn’t up-front, so there was no need to stop now. “Being honest, that wasn’t really something I managed. I was never a man that was pressed about sex. I knew that I could have it when I wanted it, so in essence, that made me not want it like that. All good pussy ain’t the right pussy if you get what I’m saying.
“I didn’t start taking my walk serious until I met my rib, Ruth. I’m not saying that we didn’t have sex before marriage, because we did. I also didn’t lollygag when it came time to making her my wife so that we could be right in the eyes of Big G.”
White boy John snickered. “Man, Mega, you got a good woman of God though. Since I been on this lil journey, I have learned that they are not all the same. Some of the females inside the walls of the church are worse than the females on the street.”
Jabari, Sammy, and Mel agreed with John’s statement. Desmond was newly married. He and his wife, Amy, had been together since they were teenagers. When Ned asked John how the females were different, I sat back because I knew it would be interesting and comical.
John sucked his teeth. “Man, females that don’t profess to be saved and walking in the light of God will straight up be like they want to have sex. It’s like, you say hi, they say hi, then they tell you they want the peen.”
“Right.” Jabari chimed in. “Some church girls are way smoother with it. They will pray over you and have a full bible study. The next thing you know, the holy spirit is slipping out the tip of your dick into her mouth, and I know that’s not what God intended.”
The way my laughter left my gut was both loud and disrespectful. People thought that my mouth was reckless, but I could find ten dudes that could match my energy. That man just said that the holy spirit slipped from the tip of his dick into her mouth.That is wild!Everyone joined in on the laughter.
“Jabari, I feel you. Here’s where that discipline comes into play and knowing what you want. If you know that you don’t want to engage, then you have the power not to. Don’t put yourself in a situation where a church girl can bring the holy spirit out of you in an inappropriate way,” I told him.
There was a time in my and Ruth’s relationship before we got married that we abstained from sex. That was the hardest time of my life. At that time in my walk, I wasn’t all the way locked in with Big G. We also lived together, which made it even harder. There were nights that I slept in my guest room, the couch, or my mama’s house next door to avoid temptation.
Jabari, Sammy, John, and Mel nodded their heads. Desmond cleared his throat. “Yeah, it’s kind of like the same concept when it comes to cheating. I’ve been with my wife since we wereteenagers, and I never cheated on her. The temptation was there, and frankly, still is, but I love her too much to even consider it. Hurting her is like hurting me. Why would I do that?”
“That’s good, Desmond. He’s right. You have to love Big G enough to know that hurting him is the same as hurting you. Yeah, we wake up to new grace and mercies every day. That doesn’t mean to lean on them as a crutch to knowingly give into temptation.” I pointed at Jabari. “So, you, no more solo bible studies. Stay in groups and guard your holy spirit.”
A Little Talk
A Short Time Later . . .
Yesterday, while I professionally minded my business during my workday, I received a phone call from the last person I ever expected to invite me to dinner. I thought it was a joke, but I would let it flow how the Big G intended it to.
“Mega, be respectful. I don’t care that he’s a teenager. He was respectful enough to invite you to dinner. Most teenagers would never,” Ruth pointed out.
I knew she had a point, but I didn’t give a damn. It was hard being a girl’s dad. I loved all of my children, but there was just something about those baby girls. I guessed this was how fathers of the daughters my sons might interact with would feel.
I straightened the watch on my wrist. “I know, baby. I’m going to be cool. I’m not an unruly man all the time.”
“You’re right. You do sleep,” Ruth said with a dainty shrug.It be your own people.
I kissed my baby before I headed to the front door. Before I got to the door, Maggie popped out of the hallway. “Um, hi, Daddy.”
“Hey, baby girl. You look pretty. I love your braids,” I complimented. She, Ruth, Shan, and Kellie got their hair braided yesterday. Maggie spent the night with Kellie, so this was the first time that I had a chance to see them.
She rubbed her hand down her fresh braids. They were a little longer than I preferred, but that was a battle I chose to let go. “Thank you, Daddy. Are you on your way to dinner?”
“I am. Did you want me to bring you something back? I’m going to your favorite place.”
She shuffled on her feet before she shook her head. “No, you don’t have to. Daddy, um, can you please be nice.” Her head dropped for a second. When her eyes reconnected to mine, they were soft and a little wet. “I really like him.”
Dear Big G,
