“Okay, okay,” I said with a slight head nod. “What if I told you that it was more than that? Purity is way deeper than just ya peen. It’s about your mind, heart, and choices. It all comes full circle. When I say it’s about those things, what do I mean, Travis?”I have to make sure this little nigga is listening.
He gave me a little smirk. “I think when you say it’s about your mind, that means that it’s about what you think about and what you allow to enter your mind from outside sources. For the heart, um, I guess that would be like how you treat people maybe, and the choices are kind of self-explanatory.”
He’s a smart kid.“Those are good answers. Everything that we do flows through our hearts when it comes to who we are, and that is why Big G wants it to remain pure. Proverbs 4:23 says, ‘Above all else guard your heart, for everything you doflows from it.’ So, when Big G says that he wants you to have purity, it’s not about control; it’s about protection.
Pastor Gilmore nodded. “That’s a good point, Mega. God is not a God about control, hence our free will. We all have freedom of choice, and as we all know that our choices lay our different roads to take. Having a pure heart helps you make better decisions in life and relationships. What kind of things can you do to keep your heart pure?”
Dezzy, Desmond’s junior, was seventeen years old. He cleared his throat. “Keep flawed people away from you and do what you know is right. That’s how I would keep my heart pure. Pops, how do you keep your heart pure?”
Desmond smiled. “I do just what you said. I keep fake people away from me, and I try to treat people right, especially the people that I love. I also grow my relationship with God every day.”
“That’s why you pray every morning with Ma? That helps y’all keep it pure?” Dezzy asked him. He smiled after his father confirmed with a nod.
Pastor Gilmore asked everyone to tell what they do or planned to do to keep their heart pure. All the men gave an answer. The boys fumbled, but they all still gave solid answers.
“Alright, we covered purity. Let’s move onto discipline, which in my opinion is an important element to keeping your heart clear. As a man, you have to learn how to control yourself. Strong men control themselves. I mean, think about it. Pastor said that Big G doesn’t control you, so that means someone has to. That someone is you,” I said with finality.
Discipline was something that I learned initially when I was in the street, then when I worked in the waste management division of Christianson Enterprises. Discipline was needed whether you were in the middle of your walk with Big G or whether you were in the middle of a life of crime.
Pastor Gilmore smiled. “‘Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lack self-control.’ That’s what Proverbs 25:28 says. Someone break that verse down for everyone.”
When no one responded, I jumped in. “To me it says that without self-control, those same things or people that you need to stay away from to keep your heart clear will have a wide-open space to get in. There are so many temptations out here, so that self-control has to be on point. You need self-control when you’re dating or you have a girl. You need it to stop yourself from making choices that could make you have to grow up before you need to.”
“Also, to stop you from making choices that could hurt others and affect the way they see and live life.” Ned chimed in. “The purity of your heart can encourage or discourage the purity of someone else’s heart. Some of those hearts are connected to crazy fathers.”
I chuckled. “Brother Ned, that is a word!”Yes, we are in here with subtle threats to these little niggas.“All in all, having self-control and being able to say no to stuff that you have no business being mixed up in doesn’t make you weak. It makes you a man and trustworthy. Do y’all agree?”
“I agree.” Travis spoke up. “I would also like to point out that the same attributes that we are talking about tonight which make men, also make women. These same lessons should be instilled in girls too.”
Pastor Gilmore’s hand gripped my wrist. He knew that I was about to pop that little boy in the back of his head. “You’re right, Travis. These are things that should also be instilled into our girls. I can speak for my daughter and nieces that they are covered. Oh, I noticed you got a few more chin hairs. The awesome eight are leading the charge.”
Every time I wanted to be mad at Travis’s bold demeanor, I couldn’t find it in my heart to be. That annoyed me to the depthof my soul. Tristian instilled a lot of the same qualities in his sons that I instilled in mine. I went in about Trevor because that was what an uncle was supposed to do. Now when I looked at Trevor, I saw a solid man, husband, and father.
“Since you brought up men and women, let’s talk about that. We are all men here, so let’s talk about how us as men are supposed to respect and treat women according to God’s will,” Pastor Gilmore said. “Ephesians 5:23 says, ‘Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.’”
Jordan, John’s son, snickered. “Um, I’m not married, so how does that apply to me?” It made sense that in his fifteen-year-old mind, none of this applied to him.
“This gives you Big G’s standard even before marriage, Jordan. Women are to be loved, not used as chest pieces for your entertainment. They should be respected and seen as a gift from Big G who were made in his image. Put it like this, treat females the way you would want the next man to treat your mama, sister, auntie, or granny,” I clarified.
Warrior sat forward in his seat. “Wait, so what y’all saying is that if I treat people good and make good choices, I can still have sex?” He raised his hand in mock surrender when Ned sat forward. “I’m just asking a question for clarity. No one’s trying to get God’s permission to smash your daughter, man.”
If I had pearls, I would have clutched them. Ned snickered. “I got my eyes on you, lil nigga. Just know that.”
Warrior gave him a smirk with a head nod before he focused his attention back to me and Pastor Gilmore. “So, what’s up, Mega? Sex or no sex?”
I chuckled at his attitude that matched his father and uncle’s to a tee. “First Corinthians 6:18 says, ‘Flee from sexual immorality.’ From that I would say that God wants us to hold off on sex until the right time, which is marriage. Now, I knowthat can be unrealistic to some in today’s world, but you have to remember that your choices lay out different paths. When the temptation of sex comes up, you need to have the discipline to say no and leave.”
For the next twenty minutes, we talked more about purity, discipline, and most of all, respect. We gave real life scenarios and worked out how they should be managed based on the will of Big G. By the end, all of the boys had interacted. We must have sounded like we were having fun because Matthew and Joseph found their way out of their room.
“Alright, let’s wrap it up for tonight,” Pastor Gilmore said after we concluded our discussions. “This was an excellent discussion tonight. Young men, we need to have y’all come back more often. Mega, do you mind closing us out with prayer?”
I smiled. “I can do that. Y’all can bow your heads. Big G, you know who it is. Thank you for being in the house with us tonight while we discussed those things that make us men after your heart. Shape us into men who stand on Your business. Strengthen our discipline when our flesh takes over and integrity to walk in Your will even when no one is watching.
“Teach us to see women with honor, not as play things. When temptation seeps in, strengthen our spines and cement our steps to do the right thing. Let us live a life that loudly says we are your sons. Amen.”
After the prayer, I told everyone to get more food. We finished just in time for the game. Pop Samuel made a lot of food.
I got my food, then sat down. Before I took a bite from my sandwich, I was interrupted. “You know, I’m happy that you invited me, Mr. Manfield. I learned a lot.”
