Kai righted him, beaming.“You’re drunk, too, you flaming gobshite!”He threw an arm around his shoulder.“What’re ye at?Verdure?”
River’s stomach protested the very word.“I’m not drinking that shit again.”
“Again?”
He shoved him off.“Kai, if you really don’t remember me fucking myself up with you and everyone else in this room all week, then I’m genuinely concerned for what you’re doing to your brain.”
Kai blinked, blatantly confused.“One, so?”
“No.”River tugged at him.“You’re going to bed.”
The music filling the hall lifted: an accordion player – Hilo, actually; hello, Hilo – had sat with the other musicians and joined in.
“Oh,shit, that bellend’s got tunes.”Kai grabbed River’s hand and snaked an arm around his waist.“S’go dance.”
“Kai.”Some stupid, hopeless instinct had him cupping Kai’s face, holding him so that he looked River in the eye.“Your mother is coming here tomorrow, and Saros is going to want you sober.”He brushed a smudge of snow from Kai’s cheekbone, his heart kicking when Kai lowered his eyes, his good mood flatlining.“You need sleep.”
“I know.”Kai tilted his head, capturing River’s hand between his cheek and shoulder.“But whenever it’s quiet, my skin… buzzes,” he went on, grappling for the words.“My skin, or my veins.I dunno.Menon…” He grimaced, scratching at his arm, his wrist; River glimpsed blood and wrenched his arm away.
Kai watched ruefully as the skin knitted itself back together, red marks washing away until only his older scars remained.For no other reason except that it felt right, River brought the backs of Kai’s fingers to his lips.
Don’t, he thought.Prayed, maybe.Don’t fall apart on me.
“I wanted it to be me,” Kai whispered.“My power.My hard work.My intelligence.”He nodded at the churning crowd, dancing and crying and praising Menon, the moon, the tides.“These people don’t give a shit about me.And what kills me is the goddess they’re worshiping doesn’t give a shit about them, either.”
Kai clenched his fist, his jaw.River gently took his face, shushed him, waited for him to come back from one of the many moments of rage that punctuated these nights.
In time, the heat of his loathing diminished and he bowed his forehead against River’s, drained.“Ineen hates me.Blames me.Maybe it is my fault, telling her I’d take over for her.Menon heard me, and gods play pranks and all.Only a god’s prank ruins people’s entire fucking lives.”
River took his hand.“Ione doesn’t hate you.”
“She does.”Kai peered down at the ring he still wore, even when Ione no longer wore hers.“I see her, sometimes.All bloody, hating me, and I can’t even save her.”
River shook the memory away, tamped down the desire for another drink, himself.One good hit was all it took, and then he was floored, scrambling to hold his own organs in.Helpless, useless, as Ione stood against Castor.As Ione turned a knife against herself.
“Bed,” he said, steering Kai through the crowds.The room was too hot, too loud; Kai waved half-heartedly at everyPraise Menonand let River lead him to the exit.
“Good seleneschal,” Kai muttered, shivering when the cold, night-dark air of the outer passage hit them.“Wrangle your rebellious goddess.While you’re at it, yank Her out of this wad of meat and bones.”He pinched his thumb and forefinger together, miming a pair of tongs.
River’s gaze flitted to the open balconies as he dragged Kai with him to the dormitories, at the lavender sky outside shimmering with rain; at Oseidos, distantly, a black mark in the sea.A heavy listlessness dropped into his stomach.Tomorrow the Cetos would arrive, adding scores of soldiers to the Leviathos’s veritable army, all of them restless and hungry for battle.
Saros would have his war, and Kai, drunk and dark and angry, would be expected to lead it.
Drunk as he was, Kai still noticed Ione’s door before they turned onto the main hall.“Ineen,” he called, his voice echoing in the nighttime silence.
“Kai, not again.”
“I wanna talk to her.”He wrestled away from River and slumped into the wall.“I don’t want her to hate me.”
River pulled at him.“Letting her sleep would be a good start.”
“I’ll figure it out,” Kai said, his forehead leaning against the door.“I’ll give her Menon back.I’ll bring Lina back.I’ll fix this.”
“You can’t, Kai.Lina’s gone and Menon’s a bitch.”
He looked up at River, bleary.“Lina’s at Soliz.I can feel it, the ward.”He pointed at his own neck.“This one.I’ll go get her.Throw her over my shoulder, bring her here, ta-da.Hero.”
River scrubbed his face, his brain snagging on Kai’s words.He had assumed, after Lina did not follow them up to Caelos, that she had drowned.Still, “Don’t be stupid.You can’t go to Soliz.”
