“I know this doesn’t make any sense to you,” I start slowly. “Hell, it makes no sense to me either. But it doesn’t have to make sense to us. This isn’t about us. Or what we think is best. What we would choose. We aren’t Remmi and Gavin’s parents.” I stop, biting my lip to keep from crying. “Trent and Lena made a decision. Probably the hardest decision they ever had to make.” A lung-shuddering breath escapes before I can say my last piece. “We have to honor it. We have to honor them.”
Lips parted and brow furrowed, Tammy is on the verge of arguing when Abe places his hand on her shoulder, giving it a tender squeeze to calm her. “We do.”
Aghast, his wife spins around to glare at him, but he goes on undeterred, “Tam, they’re right. We don’t have to understand Trent’schoices. We don’t have to agree with them. But we do have to respect them. Now more than ever.”
She turns back around to stare at me, eyes pleading, tearing at my already shattered heart. “You can’t take them, please. They’re all we have left of him.”
“She’s staying here,” Jovi answers, relieving me of the responsibility and giving me a moment’s time to regain my composure. “We both are. We’re moving to the ranch, taking care of the business. The kids will be right where they’ve always been.”
“How soon?” Tammy asks, her hand still clutching her chest as though gripping her heart is the only thing keeping it still beating.
Jovi looks to me to answer this one. “I’ll need a few days. A week maybe. So I can pack up my stuff and square away some business things. I doubt I’ll have much trouble getting someone to sublet my apartment, but if I have to, I can always wrap those details up long distance.” I swallow down the feelings that come with the words. Too much is becoming too real, too permanent, too fast. “Would you be able to keep watching the kids until I get back?”
“Of course.” Tammy sounds almost indignant. As if it was insulting to even ask. Before she can express as much, her husband cuts in, directing his inquiries to Jovi. “What about you? I know your mama wasn’t planning to give you up permanently. How do you intend to manage your work and Trent’s business?”
Jovi shrugs as if it’s a non-issue but last I heard he was overseeing all seven of his family's bars, all located across three states. Casual demeanor aside, it can’t be entirely unproblematic for him to suddenly step away from it all for the next year.
“I was planning on sticking closer to home after the summer anyway. Only reason I’ve been gone so much was because we needed to establish the concert venue at the Wild Moonshine in Nashville.It’s pretty much up and running now, so I can cut out a few months early. They can go ahead and manage without me.”
“So, that’s it.” Tammy looks around the room, a heartbreaking air of helplessness surrounding her like a heavy cloak. “Everything is decided and taken care of. Two lives wrapped up. Neat and tidy. In three minutes.” Her lips press together in a firm, white line and she gives a curt shake of her head. "I won't accept it. Just because they can no longer change their minds, don't think I won't do it for them if you prove yourself incapable."
Her husband tries to comfort her again, but she excuses herself before he has a chance.
“She’s not thinking clearly,” he says to us after she’s gone, looking down at his hands, voice strained. “She doesn’t mean it.”
“No one in this room needs apologies or explanations,” I tell him quietly. “We’re all doing the best we can while carrying the weight of unbearable pain. I don’t think any of us will be thinking clearly for a long while to come.”
“She’s right,” Jovi agrees with me. More proof that we’re all out of our minds right now. “The last thing we want is to add to anyone’s grief. So whatever Tammy needs to get through this next transition, even if it’s someone to lash out at, I’m here for it. I’m here for all of it.”
Abe looks up, slowly nodding as he takes turns meeting us eye to eye. “That goes both ways. Those kids make all of us family now. And not the sort we were before. We’re the inner circle. This is what’s left. I want you to know you can count on us for whatever you need.”
An overwhelming need to hug him surges through me, but Abe and I have never been that sort of close. Instead, I watch Jovi act out my needs as he steps past me to reach both arms aroundTrent’s dad. It takes a second for Abe to return the gesture, but when he does, he grips a tight hold of Jovi, burying his face in Jovi’s shoulder as he does.
It takes everything I have not to sob at the sight. As it is, silent tears are on a rogue mission gliding down my cheeks and escaping past my chin. I let them. Only when Jovi releases Abe do I swipe them away.
“You should go see the kids now,” Abe says gruffly. His voice sounds as though it’s being strangled by emotions he’s fighting to keep at bay. “They’ve been asking about you all morning.”
I swallow down the lump threatening more tears and nod as Jovi’s hand moves to my lower back and starts to guide me from the room.
Over the last forty-eight hours, I must have mentally rehearsed at least ten different ways to greet them. Now that we’re face to face, words aren’t used. Both kids bolt toward me, arms outstretched until they’re close enough to grasp ahold of me.
Remmi wraps herself around my hips while Gavin hugs my legs tighter than he ever has.
I want to lower myself down to reach my arms around them both, but they’re holding me so tight, I can’t even bend to get there. So, I do what little I can, placing one hand on each child, and together, we stand here, holding on to all we have left, all of us crying.
JOVI
We stay with the kids until they’re both tucked in bed, sleeping soundly. For the first time since the accident, Gavin doesn’t cry himself to sleep and it must be hard for Tammy to realize Liz could offer him comfort she couldn’t.
“I’ll take you back to the house,” I say to Liz when we find ourselves right back where we started, standing awkwardly in the foyer with Trent’s parents.
“It’s fine, I can call someone for a ride.” She pulls out her phone then freezes, staring at it blankly. I think she’s only now realizing she has no one left here to call. I’m it.
I don’t say anything. Just reach out to hug Tammy and shake Abe’s hand. “We'll be in touch to sort out the details of moving forward.”
Abe nods while Tammy turns her head away. It's obvious she's still struggling with the newest twist in our collective, shit fate.
Liz waves an uncomfortable goodbye but remains silent all the way to my truck. It's only when we’ve been driving for several minutes that she gradually begins to come back to herself.
