Holy fuck. I'm kissing her. I'm kissing Liz Penny. I don't know what came over me. She was spewing all this bullshit and all I could think was how fucking far off the mark she was with everything and I fucking needed her to stop talking. To fucking understand me just once.
And then my mouth was crashing into hers, my fingers twining in her hair to hold her close.
Reality strikes a second later when I realize how insane the move was. I expect her to start throwing punches. To thrash and shove me away. But she does neither. Before I can think clearly enough to pull away and apologize, she melts into the kiss, lips sinking into mine, opening to let me in.
There's nothing soft or tentative about the way her tongue meets mine. It's hungry. Demanding. And for the first time ever, the two of us are completely in sync. It's the single, hottest, most intense kiss of my life.
And it ends way too fucking fast.
"What are we doing," she gasps, pulling away, fingers flying to cover her lips as though trying to hide the evidence of our connection.
"I'm sorry," I start, then stop myself. I never want her to be hurt by me. Never want to do anything that makes her feel uncomfortable or unsafe. But am I sorry for that kiss? For everything we finally said to each other without saying a single fucking word? Fuck no.
She wrings her fingers in her lap before folding them firmly together. I recognize that move. I've seen her do it a million times. She's trying to regain control of herself. Of her feelings. Except this time, those feelings are about me.
"Now who's sorry when they shouldn't be," she mumbles, eyes cast at her hands as though she can't bear to look at me. "I didn't have to kiss you back."
At least we're admitting that happened. A step in the right direction.
Feeling encouraged, I ask, "Why did you?"
Her eyes catch on mine. "Why did you kiss me to begin with?"
I chuckle. Of course, she'd turn it around on me. "Because, Liz," I sigh, letting my head drop back against the headrest and my eyes fall shut, feeling suddenly drained.
Not in a way that makes me feel exhausted, only prepared to surrender.
I don't want to fight anymore. Not her. Not these goddamn feelings I'm so far past getting over, all they seem to do now is fucking grow. Get bigger. Deeper. More intense. In-fucking-escapable.
And maybe that's the whole point. I don't want to escape. Not anymore. "You weren't listening. I never said you were suggesting I was doing anything for you. I was saying that I would."
"Because that's what you do," she says flatly. "I get that now. I didn't before, and I'm sorry, but I do now. You show up for everyone. No matter what. Your family. Trent and Lena. The kids. Even that crazy live-in girlfriend you didn't think was your live-in girlfriend." She nods. "I know you'd do it for me too. It's who you are."
I lift my head again, turning toward her. One hand reaches out, until my chin and finger catch her chin and I guide her to face me. "Stop doing that."
"Stop doing what?"
"Stop intentionally misunderstanding what I'm telling you," I say, my voice rough with emotion. Feelings I've never felt climb my throat, leaving it raw. "Yes, I agreed to work on the ranch this year for Trent. And for Lena. And the kids." I pause, swallowing. "They need me to be there. So I am. But Iwantto be there, Liz. Because of you." I lean in closer. "And I'm starting to think it might turn out that I. Need. You."
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
LIZ
It's not often I'm speechless, but after Jovi's declaration, I find I'm afraid to talk. Afraid I'll say the wrong thing and this fragile bubble of something between us will pop. So I nod, bite my lip, and let the tear rolling free slide down my cheek without a fight.
Jovi brushes the damp skin softly with his thumb, before leaning in to place a tender kiss in the same spot. Then, as if understanding my need for silence, he starts up the engine and drives us home.
After parking the truck in front of the house and helping me out, he winds his fingers through mine and walks me up to the front door.
"Nothing has to change," he whispers. "If you don't feel what I feel. Or if it's too much. Or the wrong time. Or any other reason. Nothing has to change." He bends down until the tips of our noses touch. "But everything could."
“The Penny Luck,” I croak out, forcing myself to ask what I’ve wondered since Dee Sparks said the words. “It’s not…you didn’t.” I sigh, frustrated that I can’t even get the words out, too scared of what his answer will be. More afraid still, that I’m an idiot to even consider the possibility.
“The Penny Luck was the first bar I opened on my own,” he says softly, his nose giving another tender bump against mine. “After Lena told me you weren’t coming home. That you were moving to Seattle. Building a life there,” he pauses, breath hitching. “One I wasn’t going to be a part of. Even when you were already a part of me.”
Then he presses a sweet kiss to my forehead, and turns away, making his walk along the front garden to the end of the fence where he turns, heading toward the barn.
I don't say anything. Not even goodnight.
