But the idea that he would use that information to do something nice for me? Alright, fine, maybe I can't claim to be surprised by that anymore either.
"Maybe I'm scared to believe it," I whisper.
"Believe what?" he asks, his voice deep, gravellier than normal, like I'm not the only one affected by this conversation.
"That you would do something like this for me," I admit. Then I quickly scramble to backtrack on the implications of that sentence. "Not that I'm reading anything into this gesture. I get it. You wanted to do something nice for me after the last few months of, well, total and complete shit. Because you loved Lena and Lena loved me. And I appreciate that. But it still catches me off guard."
He takes in a loud breath and lets it out through flared nostrils. I'm familiar with this look. I'm testing his patience. Though, this time, I'm not sure how.
His finger and thumb come up to grip my chin, and instinct urges me to wiggle out of his hold, especially when his gaze locks on mine, brown eyes intense in a way that make my insides squirm in a not all together unpleasant way. But despite my brain's desire to escape this moment and whatever it's about to reveal, my body doesn't move. Well, it doesn't move away. It does however, seem to lean in until we're achingly close.
"The last few months have been shit," he agrees in that deep rasp. "And I did love Lena. Still do." He takes another breath, and I get the sense he's gathering his nerve. "But that's not why I did this."
"No?"
He shakes his head softly, the tip of his nose brushing over mine. "No." He stills again, his thumb softly stroking my jaw. "Read into the gesture, Liz. You'll probably still come up short of all the reasons I wanted to do this for you."
Before I can answer, his fingers leave my skin and he pulls back, a whoosh of cold air filling the space he stood. I swallow, feeling hollowed out for a second, before his fingers squeeze mine and I realize he's still holding my hand.
Without speaking, he leads me inside.
The employee entrance brings us out near the large stage where he leads me around the high tops to a nook of crescent shaped booths in perfect view of Dee Sparks and her guitar. One of them has a reserved sign sitting on it, and Jovi wastes no time leading us to it.
He gestures for me to slide in first before joining me. We sit closer together than I would normally expect us to, but I tell myself it's because the center spot of the bench offers the best view and thus, we must both share it. I'll unpack the lies I tell myself about tonight later. For now, it's enough to feel the heat of him beside me while Dee Sparks belts out one of her signature ballads.
Somewhere between hearing the first and third song, drinks show up at our table, and I gather Jovi used his magic connections to call in more favors. Or maybe he ordered ahead. Or texted the bartender directly? Who knows. In any event, two sparkling waters are placed in front of us as he leans in close to my ear. "This work?"
I nod, a strange almost painful twist of gratitude spreading in my chest. Not that long ago I would have ordered a glass of wine. Or a fruity frozen something with alcohol. But after losing Trent and Lena the way we did, and becoming the last person in my family to care for the kids, alcohol has lost all appeal for me. At least for now. And that Jovi just got that? It's a new level of comfort I didn't know I needed.
Almost two hours pass before Dee Sparks plays her last encore and leaves the stage for good.
Outside of checking in about drinks, Jovi and I haven't exchanged any more words. Now that the live music has stopped and the sound system is taking over, the volume is more conversation friendly.
"And?" he asks, nodding toward the vacated stage. "Was Dee everything you thought she would be?"
"Yes! That was," I sigh, still reveling in the night of music, "incredible." I sit up a little straighter, wanting to deliver this seriously. "Thank you, Jovi. I mean it. That was...I have no words."
JOVI
Liz looks so blissed out right now, I don't dare say anything that might ruin it. Instead, I slip my hand in hers and tug her out of the booth. And she lets me, without arguing. I try not to let this newfound trust go to my head, and focus on delivering something worthy of her fragile faith in me.
We weave our way through the crowd of people still milling about after the show. Most of them are either refilling their drinks at the bar or making their way to the dance floor. As usual, a smallgroup of women has already fallen into their habit of line dancing to whatever the DJ plays.
Then, we slip into the small hallway next to the stage leading to the restrooms and a door leading out to the alley behind the club. Where we keep a permanently parked RV to provide some sort of greenroom for our entertainment. And where Dee Sparks is at this very moment.
I knock on the door expecting Reed, her husband and security guy, to open it, but it's Dee herself who greets us. "There you are." She beams at me. "God, you look like your father." Before I know what's happening, she's pulling me in for a hug. "I know this was meant to be a favor for you, but thank you," she whispers in my ear as she squeezes me tight, "playing here tonight was like coming home to a piece of myself."
When she releases me, her attention falls instantly on Liz. "And you must be his lady love," she says, reaching a hand toward her, ready to pull her in for an embrace as well. I wouldn't say Liz is much of a hugger, but the startled look on her face as Dee drags her near likely has less to do with her affectionate nature and more to do with the words she said.
I sweep around them, knowing that if I don't steer Liz past this, she will go down a rabbit's hole trying to depict the meaning of them. Not that I don't want her to consider the possibilities. but I also don't want those thoughts to rob her of the lighthearted joy she's shrouded in tonight.
She deserves at least a few hours without the weight of responsibility and the constant churning of her mind always searching for solutions. She's had to fix everything for everyone for so long, it's a rare thing to see that piece of her shut off.To be still. To just be.
"Dee, meet Liz Penny. Liz, well, you already know the next part,” I tease making the official introductions.
Liz still looks caught in a happy haze, going through the motions. But Dee’s eyes light up with recognition. “Liz Penny? Like The Penny Luck.” She smirks. “I always wondered how this place got it’s name.”
Well shit. Wasn’t planning on having that revealed tonight.
