I ran a hand through my mane, my claws catching slightly in the strands. What was I supposed to say to her? How did you face someone you'd been forced to... someone who you'd...
My tail cracked against the wall hard enough to leave a mark.
I was terrified. Absolutely, completely terrified of what came next.
The knock at the door made me freeze mid-pace. My tail went still for the first time in an hour, suspended in the air like a question mark.
"Come in," I managed, my voice raspy and rough.
The door opened slowly, and there she was.
My breath caught. She was more beautiful than I remembered, and I'd remembered her every single day. Her hair caught the light from the window, that sunshine color that had haunted my dreams. Those hazel eyes, wide and uncertain, met mine for just a moment before darting away. Her full lips pressed together nervously, and I couldn't help but notice the way her curves filled out the simple blue dress she wore. She'd been thinner before, worn down by whatever hell the Kwado had put her through. Now she looked healthy. Vibrant. Alive.
And so incredibly nervous.
I noticed it in the way she held herself, in the tension in her shoulders, in how her hands fidgeted at her sides. That made two of us.
"Are you okay?" That was my first concern. I'd nearly gone out of my mind when she'd fainted. Nearly attacked the other males who'd tried to help her. Thankfully, Mei had been able to calm me down.
"Yes," she said softly, and the sound of her voice sent a jolt through my entire body. Sweet and feminine, it wrapped around me like a cloud. "I'm... I'm okay. I think. Are you...?" She trailed off, then seemed to gather herself. "I'm Ruby. I don't know if you... if they told you my name, or..."
A laugh escaped me—short, sharp, edged with relief and disbelief and a dozen other emotions I couldn't name. "Ruby," I repeated, savoring her name on my tongue. "I'm Cristox. Mei told me your name. I didn't know anything about you except..." I gestured vaguely, unable to finish that sentence.
Except that you're my mate. Except that I've been searching for you in every crowd for five years. Except that you've been the last thought in my mind before sleep and the first when I wake.
I cleared my throat. "Do you... do you remember? Any of it?"
Her expression shifted, became distant. She wrapped her arms around herself, and I had to fight the urge to close the distance between us and pull her into my embrace, to shield her from every painful memory.
"I get flashes," she said quietly. "Not everything. Just pieces. I remember being taken. The abduction." Her voice wavered slightly. "There were these... the Kwado. They were so cold. Not just their skin, but their eyes. Like I wasn't even a person to them."
My hands clenched into fists at my sides, claws digging into my palms. The thought of Ruby in their hands, helpless and afraid, made my blood boil.
"They drugged me," she continued, her gaze fixed somewhere past my shoulder. "It was horrible. My body felt like it was on fire. Like I was going to explode from the inside out. The pressure, the heat—I thought I was dying."
She finally met my gaze, and the vulnerability there nearly undid me.
"I remember your eyes," she whispered. "Even through everything, I thought they were kind. That sounds stupid, doesn't it? Given the circumstances."
"No," I said hoarsely, my chest tightening. "Not stupid."
"The next thing I remember clearly is waking up on the Ardeese Valout space station. The medics there explained what happened. That I'd been rescued. That I'd been..." She paused, color rising in her cheeks, painting them a delicate pink that made my pulse quicken. "That I'd been treated for the drug's effects."
I waited, letting her take her time, even as every instinct in me yearned to reach for her.
"I was going to go back to Earth," she said. "That was the plan. But then...” Another pause, another blush. “I heard about Tau Ceti, and I just... I couldn't go back. Earth felt too small after everything. Does that make sense?"
"Yes," I said. "Perfect sense."
I drew in a breath, knowing I needed to say this, even if the words felt inadequate. "Ruby, I need you to know—what happened between us, I would never have..." I stopped, my jaw tightening with the memory of that night, of her body trembling beneath mine. "The mumje they gave you was laced with a powerful aphrodisiac. Without release, the drug would have caused your heart to give out. You would have died."
Her eyes widened slightly, but she didn't look away.
"I know it doesn't excuse what I did," I continued, my voice rough with emotion. "But I need you to understand that it wasn't..."
"The medics told me,” She interrupted softly. "They explained everything. The drug, what it does, what wouldhave happened if..." She swallowed, and I watched the delicate movement of her throat. "They said you saved my life."
The relief that washed through me was almost painful. "I'm still sorry. For all of it."
