"Wait." Her hand caught my arm, her fingers pressing into my bicep. "Rickon, it's cold out there. You don't have to—"
"I want to." The words came raspy, almost rough, and I softened my tone. "Let me do this, Ellie. Please."
Her eyes searched mine for a long moment, and I could see her wrestling with the desire to accept and the guilt of asking more of me, the conflict playing out across her beautiful face. Finally, she nodded.
"Promise me you'll stay in the tent while I'm gone. Don't leave for any reason." Visions of killer clowns and rabid dogs danced in my head, ridiculous as they were.
"I promise." She squeezed my arm, her touch lingering. "Be careful."
I ducked out into the snow, spreading my wings as I strode away from the tent, giving them room to unfurl fully.
The cold air hit me immediately, sharp and biting, but it was nothing compared to what a human would feel. I launched myself skyward, my wings cutting through the falling snow with powerful strokes, the familiar burn spreading through my muscles.
The lake wasn't far, maybe a quarter mile through the trees. From above, water stretched out like a dark mirror, partially frozen but with patches where the current ran stronger, creating ripples and eddies. The ice that had formed looked thin and fragile. Perfect for what I needed. I reached into my pocket, turning off the cuddwisg device. Water would not affect the holographic disguise, but I wanted to do this in my own skin.
I circled once, studying the surface, looking for movement beneath the dark water. There—a shadow, then another, shapes gliding deep below the surface. Fish, sluggish in the cold but still active enough to hunt.
I folded my wings tight against my body and dove.
The impact shattered the thin ice like glass, shards flying in every direction, and the shock of the frigid water enveloped me. It stole my breath for a moment—not from cold but from the sudden pressure, the weight of it pressing against my chest. My wings tucked tight against my body as I cut through the watery darkness, my eyes adjusting instantly to the murky depths. Everything took on a greenish tint, and I could see the bottom of the lake, covered in silt and rotting leaves. A fish darted past, too small, barely worth the effort. Another, larger, tried to flee,but my hand shot out and caught it firmly, my fingers closing around its slippery body just behind the gills. I kicked toward the surface, breaking through with my prize thrashing in my grip, its tail slapping against my wrist.
I tossed it onto thicker ice near the shore, where it flopped and gasped, and dove again.
And again.
By the time I finished, four good-sized fish lay on the ice, their silver scales catching what little light filtered through the storm clouds, creating tiny flashes like scattered coins. My clothes clung to me, heavy with water, the fabric plastered to my skin and pulling at my shoulders, but I felt no discomfort. Only satisfaction. For a Gudari, there was no better source of pride than providing for one's mate.
The thought stopped me cold—colder than the water dripping from my wings and hair, running in rivulets down my chest.
Mate.
I stared down at the fish, my chest suddenly tight, my heart hammering against my ribs. When had I started thinking of her that way? Ellie wasn't my mate. She was human. An important Earth female I'd vowed to protect. Nothing more.
But the word had come so naturally, so easily, like it belonged there in my mind when I thought of her, like it had always been there waiting to surface.
My wings gave an involuntary flutter, water droplets flying, and I forced them still, jaw clenching so hard my teeth ached. No. I couldn't—I wouldn't—go down that path. The goddess had blessed me with a mate and child. When they died, that part of me died with them. I'd accepted that. Made peace with it during long, sleepless nights in the pits, staring at blood-stained walls.
Ellie was different. She had to be different. Surely what I felt was just protectiveness.
I gutted the fish, perhaps more roughly than necessary, my claws cutting deep and tearing rather than slicing clean, and when finished, launched myself into the air. The wind bit at my wet skin, but I barely noticed. All I could focus on was the uncomfortable realization settling in my gut like a stone, heavy and unmovable. I pushed it aside and reengaged my cuddwisg device as though the disguise provided some sort of barrier that would keep these dangerous thoughts at bay.
When I stepped inside the tent, water still streamed from my wings, my skin, and my pants dripped, leaving puddles on the ground. Ellie's head snapped up from where she'd been organizing our supplies.
"Rickon! You're soaked!" She scrambled to her feet, her eyes wide with concern, taking in my drenched state. "Get in here, you must be freezing."
I shook my head, holding up the fish. "I don't feel cold as you do. My body—"
"I don't care what your body does differently." She was already moving toward me, her small hands reaching for the fish. "You're dripping wet and it's below freezing out there. Strip down and get by the fire. Now."
The commanding tone in her voice made my wings flutter again. That damned involuntary response I couldn't seem to control around her. I caught them mid-movement, forcing them to still, but not before she noticed.
"Ellie, I'm fine."
"Rickon." She looked up at me, her jaw set stubbornly, her eyes blazing with determination. "Please."
That single word, soft and almost pleading despite the steel beneath it, undid me completely.
I sighed and began unfastening my harness, the buckles slick with water, letting it fall to the ground along with my weapons belt. My pants followed, peeling away from my skin with some difficulty, leaving me in nothing but my loincloth. The fabric clung to my body, still damp from the lake, outlining everything. I would no doubt have sported an erection if not for the chill. Small mercies.
