The way the sun illuminates the strands of hair that have broken loose from her ponytail.
The light smattering of summer freckles that are just beginning to show themselves.
The way she grins at me, making me feel invincible. Like I could do anything, go anywhere, as long as I have her by my side.
And before I know it, I’m stepping down off the tree.
“What did I tell you?” Nora smirks. “Cake.”
Before I can celebrate my triumph, though, the atmosphere around me changes.
Something’s not right.
I watch as Nora’s entire face completely transforms.
Her eyes go wide. Her nostrils flare. Her jaw hangs open.
The ground under my feet shifts, and I look down to see that I’m standing on a big rock now only partially lodged in the wall of dirt.
And just as I take this in, it tilts under me even more and starts to slide down the steep bank.
My center of gravity shifts. It feels as if the oxygen has been sucked clean out of the air between us. Everything moves in slow motion.
Nora’s hand shoots toward me, veins pulsing under her tan skin.
I desperately reach for her, but my fingertips barely graze hers.
And then I’m free-falling backward, my whole body in thin air.
I squeeze my eyes shut as the blue sky blurs into the trees, into a wall of mud.
The very last sound I hear over the rushing water is the one that’s usually my favorite, Nora saying my name. But this time she’s screaming it and there’s pure terror filling up every part of her voice, turning it all wrong.
June 18
Dear Stevie,
I don’t know if this journal is going to make me feel any better, but I have to talk to someone and the only person I can talk to is you, even if you can’t hear me. I just got back from the hospital. It’s been six days since the accident and they still have you in an induced coma. I met your parents. It was weird. Itisweird. That they know I even exist at all. But even more that they don’t know that you’re everything to me. Your mom seems really nice. I see why it’d be hard to think about letting her go. Despite everything, I can tell she really loves you.
Sometimes when they both leave, I sneak into your room for a couple of minutes to hold your hand. I know you’d probably give me shit for being too risky, but you don’t know what it’s like to be here with you… without you.
I so wish it was me in that bed, because it should be. This is all my fault. You didn’t want to do it. You told me you didn’t want to do it. I am so fucking sorry. I’m sorry, Stevie. Please wake up.
I love you,
Nora
June 23
Dear Stevie,
It’s been eleven days. I overheard the doctor today and she said they’re waiting for you to wake up now. I really need you to wake up. I need you to be okay. I can’t do this without you now that I know everything life could be. I miss the sound of your laugh. I miss the way you twist your fingers around in my ponytail. I miss being woken up by your middle-of-the-night phone calls when you can’t even say anything.
Please wake up. Please. I love you. I want to hear you say it back to me.
Nora
CHAPTER 4
