I can’t do it.
“I love this song,” I say, slipping my hand out of his and turning the volume dial up a couple of notches.
“Me too.” He nods, still smiling. Success.
I take a deep breath and tighten my hand into a fist before letting it rest back over my takeout container. Both of us are quiet for the last couple of minutes of the ride except for the directions I give him, until he pulls into my driveway, the house all dark except for the light on the front porch.
“Thanks, Ryan,” I say, already unbuckling my seat belt. As I reach for the door handle, I feel him lean across to give me ahug. Quickly, I spin back around to face him, but by the time I get my arms up, he’s holding one hand out for a handshake and then it becomes a small awkward wave.
“Uh…” I drop my arms back to my side, trying to figure out what the hell to do. “Bye,” I say, deciding to just follow through with the hug after all, and it’s about a million times more awkward than I ever thought possible.
When he lets go, he avoids my eyes, looking at the center console, at the radio, at my door handle, anywhere but at me.
“Next time, maybe we skip Truck Night.” I laugh, hoping it doesn’t sound too forced.
“Ha, yeah, maybe,” he says, looking at me just long enough to offer a quick smile. “Good night, Stevie.”
I hop out and close the door behind me, cringing all the way inside. I’m ruining it. This great thing my former self wanted, a relationship with Ryan. He’s supposed to be a part of my fresh start, my second chance to get everything right this time. Why can’t I make it work?
I kick my shoes off and lean against the front door, pulling out my phone. Maybe I just need to talk about it with someone who has more experience. But there’s no way Savannah or Rory would understand, and even if they did, I don’t really want to talk to them right now. I pull out my phone and hesitate for a second, until I remember Albert mentioning Nora’s secret boy drama. This is totally normal. She’ll get it.
You working tomorrow?I text Nora.
In the meat shop bright and early!she replies.
Alone?
Yeah.
Need some help?I ask, and I try not to smile as three dots blink across her text bubble right away.
You help out much more and my mom is going to have to start paying you, and she doesn’t even like paying me,she replies first, but then,
I’ll see you at open.
CHAPTER 22
NORA LOOKS OVER THE TOPof the display case at me, the tiny gap in her teeth showing through her sleepy smile. Iamhere to talk to her about Ryan, but… maybe I should let us both wake up a little first.
“You feeling better?” she asks, leaning casually on the counter.
“What?” I ask, before remembering how we last left things. “Oh, yeah. Much better. Actually my stitches came out this morning in the shower,” I tell her, holding my hair back to show her the now-visible scar.
“Oh, cool. That must feel good.”
“It kinda does. I definitely feel a little more normal… or as normal as I can with amnesia.”
“Well then, come on around, maybe you can set up the display case for me. I’ve got to do some stuff in the back real quick.” She motions me around the counter and shows me all the trays of various meats that need to be put out. As soon as she goes to the back, I get to work.
She didn’t really give me any specific direction, so I decide to have some fun with it and arrange each tray of steaks into the shape of flowers, a burger patty at the center of each.
Pretty. I step back to inspect my handiwork as Nora comes out of the back holding a tray of prewrapped orders labeled with each person’s name.
“Stevie, what the hell am I looking at?” she asks, motioning to my masterpiece.
“What? It looks good!”
“Yeah, but this isn’t a bakery.” She laughs, sliding the case open to make it all boring again, but before she can, a lady walks in through the door.
