Maybe a year ago, that would’ve made me feel some pang of guilt or remorse, but not now.
You have no idea,I want to tell her. I want to tell her thatnothingcould keep me in this town. That in a few months I’m going to be farther away than either of them, so far out of Wyatt they’ll never see me again. I want to tell them both they don’t even know the real me, not anymore.
But I would never do anything to jeopardize our plans. I can almost hear Nora telling me,Hang in there. This is all temporary. I just have to keep this up for two more months.
“Look, I’ll really try to make more time. That’s my bad,” I say, glancing between the two of them, trying to seem sorry.
The server comes from behind me and breaks up our conversation as he sets down a short stack of pancakes in front of each of them.
“Hope you don’t mind that we ordered, but we werestarving,” Rory explains as they both drench their pancakes in maple syrup.
“What can I get for you?” the server asks. Ryan. I recognize his voice immediately, much different than Pat’s ten-packs-a-day rasp. I look up to see him smiling down at me, his silky black hair swooping down over his forehead, just above his light-brown eyes.
I open my mouth to order, but he stops me. “Wait, wait.” He looks up into his head, tapping his pen against his temple a couple of times. “Two eggs over medium, bacon, hash browns, and… rye, no butter?” he asks, scrunching his face up.
“Close. Wheat,” I correct him, grinning.
“Gah! Next time,” he assures me, scribbling my order downin a messy shorthand. “I’ll have that out for you stat so you don’t fall behind.” He motions subtly to my friends’ plates and then disappears into the kitchen.
When I look back at Savannah and Rory, they’re both smirking coyly at me. “What?” I ask, looking between them.
“I’ve tried so hard to stay out of it, butgirl.” Savannah rolls her eyes, shoving a bite of pancake into her mouth. “You’re killing me.”
“What?”I repeat, slightly irritated now.
“He’s totally into you!” Rory practically shouts across the entire restaurant.
“Oh, shut up,” I scoff, waving them both away, my face turning red.
“What, you’re not into him? I think he’s cute, for…” Savannah shrugs without finishing that thought. But when I don’t say anything back, she leans over her pancakes, her hair almost dragging through a puddle of melted butter and maple syrup, and completes it. “Is it because he’s…Asian? Is that why you’re not interested?” she stage-whispers. I glance over my shoulder to make sure he didn’t hear, but thank God this place is filled with the sound of so many forks hitting plates it seems to have drowned her out.
“Savannah,I’mAsian.”
I look over at Rory, hoping for some backup, but all I get is an apathetic shrug. “I mean, yeah, but like… not really. He’s likeAsian, Asian,” she says, peeking over my shoulder.
I guess they only consider me half Korean when there’s an opportunity for them to laugh at someone’s racist joke. Maybe that’s the reason I’ve felt so comfortable around Ryan ever sincehe started working here a year ago. He didn’t go to our school, so I don’t really know him, like… at all. But he’s the only other Asian kid in the whole town, and we’ve exchanged the kinds of looks over the off-color things customers say here that tell me he gets it.
The thing is that heisreally cute. If Wyatt wasn’t the kind of place where there’s a distinction between “cute” and “cute for being Asian,” he’d probably have girls lined up at the door to go out with him.
Just not me… obviously.
The two of them finally take the hint that I don’t want to talk about this anymore and move back to the previous topics of discussion: the party, Savannah’s boyfriend, and… some other things that I don’t even hear because I’ve stopped listening.
When my food comes, I start to shovel it down. The sooner I finish, the sooner I can get out of here to go see Nora and hear her news. But then I force myself to take a deep breath between bites so it isn’t obvious.
“Stevie? Yes or no?” Rory asks.
“Huh?” I look up at her, confused.
“You want to go to the outlets with us today, or not?” she repeats, clearly annoyed this time.
I shake my head, pulling twelve bucks out of my wallet. “No, sorry, guys, I have—”
“—to work,” Savannah says with me. Of course I don’t have to today, but that’s the reason I got a job at a coffee shop two towns away. I knew no one would ever venture over there, and so they’d never find out that I’m only there for about ten of the twenty hours I say I am.
“Stevie. Work,again? Are you serious?” Rory asks, drooping her shoulders.
“Tomorrow. Let’s do something tomorrow, okay? I’ll text you,” I assure them.
