“Okay, well, I just watched this one about meat and it wassomind-boggling…” She goes on, telling me all she’s learned about the meat industry’s effect on the environment. “Anyway, I’m thinking about going vegan,” she finishes, and I can’t help but let out the quietest laugh at that.
“I know. I know.” She giggles. “Says the girl whose mom runs the biggest beef farm in the county. That’d probably be more of a blow to her than…” She laughs again, but this one sounds different, forced.
She goes back to the documentary, telling me all the little details about it. She talks and I just listen.
One thing I love about Nora is that she oozes passion. Pure unfiltered passion, forallkinds of things. It’s easy to get excited when you’re around her, even about stuff you never cared about before.
Sometimes if I really can’t sleep, she’ll talk to me like this for hours on end, and somehow, she always manages to find things that are worth saying.
Despite how much I like listening, her soothing voice manages to melt the tension I’ve been holding in my muscles all night, and after half an hour or so, my eyelids finally begin to grow heavy. And even though Nora would never admit it, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind being able to go back to sleep right now.
“And don’t get me started on deforestation. That’s a whole other—” She stops midsentence when I softly clear my throat into the phone.
“Okay. Good night, Stevie. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She pauses; then, ever so softly, she whispers, “Iloveyou,” as if she’s saying it into my ear. She doesn’t just sling it around like she’s said it as many times as she actually has. She says it like she means it, each word encased in her whole heart.
I want to say it back to her. I want to say it so badly my throat aches, but I know I can’t.
Not even in a whisper.
Not here.
CHAPTER 2
THE FIRST THING I DOwhen I wake up in the morning is check my Instagram message requests, and sure enough, I have a new one from an account with no followers, no posts, and no profile picture. FarmGirl8217, aka Nora. Not the world’s most clever handle, but she was barely sixteen when she came up with it, and I’m the only one who ever sees it.
Can you meet me any earlier this morning? I have news!
My heart leaps, but then immediately deflates when I remember that I already promised Savannah and Rory I’d meet them for breakfast. Even though I could cancel, even though Iwant tocancel, I need to keep up some semblance of normalcy with other people in my life or they might get suspicious. And considering I already ghosted them on Friday…
Noon is the earliest I can come today :/ News!? Tell me!I type back.
I’ll tell you when I see you.
Nora! Tell me now! It’s about the apartment isn’t it? Did we get it???
We missed out on our first choice, but the next one we applied for isn’tsobad.
I’ll see you at noon ;)she replies after a minute.
I roll my eyes and let out a grumble as I delete the conversation. Noralovessurprises, and I… can’t stand them.
The moment I step out of my bedroom door, my mood is instantly killed further by the voices of a couch full of Fox News anchors carrying up the stairs. I thought my dad would be at work by now. Normally I’d give it a few minutes until the TV clicks off, but I have to get down there and get going or I’ll be late for breakfast and that’ll make me late for Nora. So I take a deep breath, grit my teeth, and descend the stairs into the living room.
“This guy.” The brown leather couch creaks as my dad turns around to face me, dressed in a semiclean set of coveralls withGREEN’S AUTO REPAIRprinted across the back in cracked vinyl lettering. “This guy ain’t nobody’s fool. Not like those idiots on CNN,” he finishes, his thumb pointed over his broad shoulders.
I tense my jaw, biting back a snide comment. It feels like I have to do that more and more these days, and I’m not sure if he’s getting more intolerant or I’m just becoming less tolerant of him.
“Morning,” I force out instead, but he’s already leaning back in toward the TV, which is mounted on the wall between two deer heads. He’s not even listening.
Good talk.
It wasn’t like this when I was growing up. Back then we actually enjoyed each other’s company. He’d let me run the switch on the car lift at the garage all day, or rent a small aluminum boat and take me out fishing on the reservoir, just the twoof us. He listened. But that was before Nora, before I understood just how toxic some of his beliefs are. And before he became so obsessed with these talking heads that nothing I said could ever change his mind.
When I set our plan in motion, I didn’t foresee that I’d have much trouble at all leaving him behind, considering I can barely stand to be around him now. But somehow I still feel sad about that.
I shake off the thought as I grab my car keys off the hook and head out the front door.
But just as it swings open—Oof.
