“It seems not.”
“I called to you.Whydidn’t you show me you were alive?”
“Perhaps I wasnot.”
He sat up.She seemed to read hisbewilderment and have pity on it, or on something about him—reachedforwards and brushed one hand across his hair.“Don’t let it taxyour brains, boy.Perhaps I was feigning.Your villagers werestrange tonight—perhaps it seemed best to me not to provokethem.”
“Strange…” Cai shook his head.“I never sawthem like that.How could it happen?”
“Because they have noleader.”
“Nonsense.People shouldn’tneed a leader to be good.Decent, at least.”Cai resumed hisexamination of the thin but healthy limbs, the flesh that shouldhave reeked of smoke and charring but didn’t.The old woman’sskirts smelled a little of fresh comfrey leaves and bedstraws, andthat was all.He knew what was coming next and didn’t want tohear.
“In a perfect world—that ofTheodosius—that is true.He was perfect in his way.You are grosslyimperfect…” She waited till his eyes met hers in sarcasticacknowledgement.“And better suited to your times.”
“Why does it have to beme?”
She shrugged.“Why should it beanyone?You are right.People shouldn’t need a leader.But wherethere are men who would lead them astray, they do.Addyhoped…”
“You do know him, then?When did you last see him?What did he hope?”
“So many questions.Youexhaust me.”
“I’m sorry.But—”
“I must go.I have herbs togather.I was interrupted, if you recall.”
“Where was Aelfric keepingyou, Danan?”
“Somewhere dark and silent.Don’t scowl, boy—I found it restful.”She shook off Cai’srestraining hand and stood up.“Ah, wait.In return for thisrescue, I will give you something—you and that redheaded beast.Come here, both of you.”
Fen left off checking Eldra’s limbsand came to kneel at Cai’s side.His expression was mild, as ifhe’d never rode up and down a beach roaring and swinging an axe.“Idon’t understand how it is, old salamander,” he said, “but I amglad you’re unharmed.”
“Unharmed?”She gave him acuff to the face.Cai flinched—anyone else would have drawn back astump—but Fen only beamed.“I shall bear the mark of your knee inmy arse to the grave.”
“There was no time to stopand help you to a more maidenly posture.”
She broke into wheezing, raspingchuckles.“Maidenly!Well, I’ll forgive it in the circumstances.Now, where is the damn thing…?”She dug like a weasel into a pocketof her skirts, threw out a half-eaten apple and a barley ear, thenextracted a long red ribbon.“There.Do you know what thisis?”
Cai did, but was too taken aback tosay so.Fen, less inhibited, took the worn length of silk betweenhis fingers.“Yes.Our custom is the same.This is forhandfastings.”Silent laughter shook him.“I’m honoured, lady, butperhaps I’m too old for you.And my preference lieselsewhere.”
“Yes.Even my Caius herehad a few girls before he was certain, but you…youknew.”
That silenced both of them.Fenlowered his gaze, and Cai took his hand.He’d grown used to havingsecrets pulled raw out of his head, but the process was new to Fen.Cai wanted to tell Danan to leave him be.There was somethingpainful in the thought of Fen, young and far away from him,yearning from the first awakening of his flesh for othermen.
He held tighter, and Danan noddedapproval.“Aye, that will do.”
“What will?Danan, what areyou up to?”
“It will help you.You mustlead, and you will be the better for a good man at yourside.”
Light dawned on Cai.His mouthdropped open.“Oh, God.Danan, no.Look, heisat my side.He doesn’twant—”
“Who says I don’twant?”
Cai started.Fen was still holding theribbon.He looked at Cai with fire and cloud-swept moonlightlighting up the amber of his eyes.“Who says I don’t?”he repeated,turning his hand in Cai’s grasp so that their fingers meshed.“Whatbetter?It will bind us closer than brothers.”
The secret of the book is inthe binding.Cai stared at the ribbon drifting in the offshore wind,coiling as if with a life of its own.It felt like an answer, orpart of one, but it faded as he tried to follow it.Why did itleave him so chilled?
