“Yet I can’t shelter Oslaf fromtheir condemnation.From being named a pervert, as I have beennamed.They’ll do it before everyone, Laban said.Stand him infront of all his brethren and…” Benedict’s voice scraped intosilence.Then he looked up, meeting Cai’s gaze with hunteddesperation.“I can’t say any more.What if he’s right, Cai?Whatif weareimpure in the sight of the Lord?I would send my own soulto hell if I had to, but not his—not Oslaf’s.”
Shards of broken glass seemed to movein Cai’s throat.He stood in miserable silence, trying to work outwhat had been impure about his love for Leof.“All right,” he saideventually.“Do what you think is best.You shouldn’t have comehere, you know—if Aelfric scares you so.”
“Well, he does.But I gaveit thought, and the Vikings scare me more.”He smiled uncertainlyand looked more like his old self.“Will you teach me to fight,Brother?”
Cai smiled too.“Gladly.You presentme with a problem, though—we don’t have enough weapons to goround.”
Ben scanned the dormitory ruins.His gaze fell on the pile of half-burned rafters Eyulf had begunchopping up for firewood.“No, but by the grace of God we haveplenty of big sticks.Where I come from, those are our weapons.Maybe I have something to teachyou.”
Cai followed him curiously.For allhis size, Ben was such a gentle soul.Cai couldn’t imagine himwielding anything more deadly than a ploughshare.Still, those hadbeen beaten into swords before now.Lifting a long, straight stickfrom the pile, Ben knocked ash off the end of it and handed it toCai.“Here.Hold it with your hands apart, like this.”
“Why me?”
“I haven’t been forbidden to lookatyou—not yet, anyway.Or to beat you hollow.”
There was a glimmer of challenge inBen’s eyes.Deciding he liked that better than the pained anxiety,Cai hefted the stick.It couldn’t be that hard.“Oh, feel free totry.”
Ben grabbed himself a length of woodand grinned at Cai disarmingly.“Well, with a beginner,I’d…”
He moved, and Cai’s legs shot out fromunder him, swiped from behind by a blow he’d never seen coming.Helanded on his backside in the dust.Another clatter of laughterarose from the monks, and he looked around him wryly.Well, he hadbeen drilling them harshly.Maybe the sight of their tormentorknocked on his arse was refreshing to them.“Interesting,” he said,taking Ben’s hand and scrambling up.“Please.Show me.”
“You know, at the very lastinstant you tripped over your robes.Try tucking them up into yourbelt—on one side, anyway.You could use the protection on theother.Whichever leg you lead with when you wield asword.”
Too intrigued to hesitate, Cai hitchedup his cassock’s heavy hem and wrapped it once over his belt.Bendid likewise, and Cai nodded at his brethren, some of whom werecopying the action.“Yes, you lot.Try it like that.And get onwith your drills—no need to watch my humiliation.”
Ben corrected his stance and his gripon the pole.Then the two faced each other, circling warily.Bencame forwards, slowly enough this time for Cai to see his intent,and their sticks locked at right angles with a loud crack.Noddingsatisfaction, Ben stepped back and tried for the leg-swipemanoeuvre again.He was taking it easy on purpose, but Caiunderstood how a twisting dance step would take him out ofrange—balanced and jumped and got around him in time to try for thedrop move himself.Ben sidestepped with unlikely speed, spun roundand delivered a thump that shook Cai to the bone through thedefending pole.
Fires leapt up in Cai’s breast.He hadn’t liked fighting for Broc, but those ragged hill-warriorswho took him on had soon learned to regret it.He struck backpowerfully, knocking a grunt and a startled laugh from hisopponent, and they set to in good earnest.Splinters flew from thepoles as they clashed.This was a battlefield art, not an elegantone, and after being ditched to the ground twice more, Cai took itto close quarters with a kind of joyous rage.It was good not tothink.It was good to struggle hotly with a man of his ownstrength—stronger, if he let himself admit it.He braced, Ben’scorded bare thigh pressing tight against his, then thrust him back,gasping.A heat like arousal flared through him.God, maybehewasimpure, for such life to be burning in his veins, Leofbarely cold in his grave… He tried to retreat, but Ben wasn’thaving any of that, surging forwards in pursuit.
Oh, it was good.Cai let go and fought forhis life.He didn’t hear the silence that came down over the ruinedhall, didn’t notice that the monks had stopped their practice andwere standing in a frightened clump.Ben was calling his name, buthe didn’t want to stop.Why was Ben blocking him, not responding tohis moves?One block—another—until on the third Ben’s pole snappedunder the assault, dropping Cai hard against his chest.
“Caius, please.Theabbot!”
Cai froze.Ben’s hands were tight onhis shoulders, immobilising him.Panting, Cai came back from hisfugue far enough to see not just Aelfric but Laban and the threeother Canterbury clerics lined up on the far side of thehall.
He pushed out of Ben’s arms.Hecouldn’t imagine why he had feared or hated these men for oneinstant.They were nothing to him—scrawny black-robed skeletons hecould knock down with one hand.He strode through the crowd of hisbrethren, who parted to make way for him, and took a running leapup onto the lintel stone once more.“Good day, my lord abbot,” heshouted, cheerfully brandishing the pole.“How may I helpyou?”
Aelfric stepped forwards.He was pale,and he hadn’t managed to compose his face into its crow-like scowl.“What… What is the meaning of this?”
Cai glanced back at the monks.It waswell enough for him to take his own monastic life in his hands,wasn’t it?But his little army hadn’t bargained for this.“It’sdrill practice,” he called out, making sure they heard.“And I amresponsible for it.Ben, will you take these men to the armoury andmake sure the weapons are all put away?I want to speak toAelfric.”
He waited till the last of the monkshad filed out of the hall, their faces averted from Laban’s glare.Aelfric didn’t even look at them.His gaze was fixed on Cai, as ifreassessing him.“Explain yourself.”
“I will.I will defend youfrom the demons—yes, even you—next time they come.Just in casethey aren’t to be deterred by prayer.”
Aelfric seemed to take this in.Caiwondered what had changed inside the narrow, tonsured head—or whathad changed in himself, to make those harsh features shadow withuncertainty.“Your faith is imperfect, Caius.Do you not believethese things are in God’s hands?”
Cai looked down at his own, clampedtight around the weapon.His faith was in tatters.Was this whatold Danan had meant?“Yes, my lord abbot,” he said clearly.“Ibelieve that they certainly are.”
Cai waited for punishment to fall onhim—or, worse, upon one of the brave souls who still joined himeach day to learn to fight.Aelfric hadn’t forbidden it.He wasallowing the rebuilding of the church in timber, wattle and daub,and Theo’s bones lay undisturbed beneath it.Still, he spent mostof his days in whispered consultation with one or other of hisretinue, and Cai had little doubt that whatever balance of powerhis own efforts had disturbed, soon the scales would swing backwith a vengeance.
He wasn’t given time to find out.AndAelfric’s plans, whatever they had been, died in the bud.On afull-moon night barely two weeks after the abbot’s arrival, theraiders came again.
This time they met with a frightened,ferocious resistance.The men sleeping in their makeshift dormitorystarted awake at the frantic ringing of the bell.Aelfric hadallowed a night watch too, and the appropriation of the bellHengist used in the kitchen to summon Eyulf to scrubturnips.
Cai stood up in the middle of thebunks, gesturing for silence and calm.“We knew this would come,”he said softly.“My men, you know what to do.The rest of you—findAelfric and go with him to the crypt.”
Cai had never meant to dividethem.He took no joy in military prestige, but he saw thedifference in demeanour between those who had becomeCai’s menand those who wouldgo to huddle with Aelfric in the crypt.His father would haveenjoyed it—the nervous, proud vigour of the soldiers as they tuckedup their cassocks into their belts and headed for the armoury, eventhe most graceless of them made noble by purpose.Cai followed themout.He found poor Eyulf blubbering in a stack of sheepskins in hisfavourite storage barn, unearthed him and sent him running with theothers for shelter.Then he too armed himself and strode out ontothe cliffs.
