“Good,” Mama Luna said.“Good, keep him still there.”He felther weight shift.A few seconds later, a wet heat landed on hisexposed ribs, as if she had dropped boiling mud on him.The heatwas briefly unbearable.He convulsed under it and felt himselfrestrained by a grip stronger even than Sasha’s, shoulder and hip.“No.Lie still, balame.Let it do its work.”
Christ,what was it?Lava, it felt like, consuming his side in three bitesas more of it landed on him.Aware he must be crushing bones inSasha’s hand, he tried to loosen his grip but could not; Sasha washolding him more fiercely still.He heard his own breath coming andgoing in anguished rasps—then, abruptly, the fist in his lungsunlocked.It was as if his rib cage had relaxed enough for him toget air into it for the first time in hours, and the heat, insteadof boiling his skin off him, became a distraction from the pain.Hesucked in an enormous breath.He’d been slowly suffocating—not justfrom the blow but the memory of getting it, as if the old man’sfist had remained buried in his side.“Good,” the old woman croonedagain.“Good.Let it work.”
Thesubstance seemed to be drying on his skin.Laurie heard itcrackling, like mud in the sun, imagined cracks as deep as Giant’sCauseway appearing in it, down through his insignificant flesh andinto the heart of the earth.He breathed and breathed, and the painbecame bearable.Slowly he returned to himself—became properlyaware of his surroundings, of the fact that he was on his side in agypsy caravan and showing his rescuers very little appreciation.Breathed again—so deep that the gathered mass on his side, onlywarm now, seemed to break apart and fall away from him.
“Sasha,” he whispered and kissed the hand still clenched onhis.He got his head up out of the pillow.“Mama Luna, I’m sosorry.”
“Sorry?”The old woman was calmly gathering up broken pieces ofwhat looked like dried clay from the mattress.She folded theseinto her apron and briskly brushed away the dust.“You needed us;you came.No sorry.”
“But I haven’t got any… I can’t pay you for any of this, notnow…” He tried to sit up, Sasha moving to help him, the old womanpushing a pillow behind his back.He looked around him, taking inthe tiny, cramped room, the view beyond it to the kitchen Sasha hadsaid he shared with… “Oh, God.Am I in Cyril’s half of thebed?”
Sashabroke into startled laughter.“No.You’ll never believe this, butMrs.Cyril turned up on Friday night to take him home.She’dtracked him down somehow.You never saw a happier man.”
“Really?”Laurie thought he was seeing a fairly happy one now.Sasha’s voice was still unsteady, but some of the terror wasleaving his face.He supposed he had made a dramatic arrival.“That’s good.Really good.I’m sorry I frightened you,Sash…”
“It’s okay.You’ll be okay now.”Sasha slid an arm behind hisback.He gave an odd, short gasp, and Laurie saw that tears hadgathered in his eyes.“Fuck’s sake, though, Laurie.He did it,didn’t he?Itoldyou to get out.”
Laurie pressed their brows lightly together.Whatever hisreply might have been—well, he’s done hisworst now or never again—it was halted inhis throat by a sharp rap on the caravan’s outside wall.Sasharestrained his bone-deep jerk of fright.But Mama Luna got calmlyto her feet and shuffled over to the door, as if she would meet awhole army of men like Sir William without flinching.Laurie got aglimpse of Gunari’s huge shape in the night outside, incongruouslyholding up to the old woman a little bowl, in both hands, as ifwhatever it contained was precious.She took it from him, noddingand chuckling, and took the opportunity of being three steps abovehim to pat him on his crew-cut head.Gunari said proudly, “Darozha,Mama.”
“Yes.Darozha.Good boy.Go back to bed now.”Turning, she madeher way back into the bedroom, the bowl cupped between her twopalms.“Sasha,” she said, setting it carefully down by the bed.“This balame seems to like you.See if he trusts you enough to takethat.”
Laurie frowned.He wanted to tell her he trusted Sash enoughto take anything from his hands.He remembered now, words heard inthe ice storm of his pain: “careful ofyourself around him, Sasha.”The old womanhad no reason to put faith in him, he knew, and he didn’t supposehis kind had ever helped her in the past, but still it hurt himthat she could think him dangerous to Sasha, for whom he thought hecould die happily tomorrow if asked.
“Mama Luna,” he began but somehow forgot the thrust of thethought between one instant and the next.The bowl was steaminglightly, filling the room with a bitter scent.It should haverepelled him, but instead it seemed to soften his returningmemories in comforting veils.What had he been so concerned about?Oh, yes.Trust.He yawned massively.Sasha’s arm was tight aroundhis shoulders now, his warmth so close that Laurie felt himchuckle.“I told you,” he said to the old woman, whose name hecould not now quite recall.“I won’t hurt him.I lovehim.”
“That’s good,” she said, brushing down her skirts andrearranging her scarves to glowing magnificence.The little goldgalbi danced and shimmered on her brow.“See how much you love himafter he’s poured darozha down your throat.Sleep well.”
She wasgone.Laurie, who hadn’t seen her leave, rubbed a hand across hiseyes and raised a puzzled glance to Sasha.In the silence she hadleft behind, he could hear his own heartbeat, and a brief spike ofadrenaline returned him to the surface.Involuntarily he saw againthe dining room in Mayfair, the first step—unknown to him at thetime—in his journey here.When he thought about the whole of thatjourney, his mind balked from its totality.His last glance of thehallway through a haze of blood.
God, ithad been just that, hadn’t it?A last look at his home.
Hecouldn’t go back.For an instant, panic touched him.Breath heavedin and out of his chest.Then Sasha’s hold on him became a bruisinghug.Why the hell should he care?Look what he’d won, in the midstof his night’s losses.He was alone with Sash, curled up by hisside in a room which, though frail, he felt was inviolable.Nothingcould hurt them here.He felt his respiration settle enough that,after a few seconds, he could ask, “What’s darozha,then?”
“I don’t know.”Sasha brushed a tender kiss to his rightcheekbone, then withdrew with a hiss of sympathy.“She swearsthere’s no frogs or newts in it, but… Ah, ves’tacha, he did make amess of you, didn’t he?Before you take your poison, let’s see tothat.”
Sashareached down, and Laurie saw with amusement that as well as hersteaming, mind-altering mysteries, the old woman had left aperfectly ordinary tub of arnica on the bedside table.Sasha seemedto read his smile.“She doesn’t reinvent the wheel, Mama Luna.Here.Sit still.”Laurie did his best.He hadn’t looked in a mirrorsince his one glimpse by the Daimler’s overhead light, but Sasha’sgentle touch with the arnica seemed to be mapping out a landscapeunfamiliar to him, unexpected crests where pain flared likelightning.“Why did he do it to you, Laurie?”
“Poor little Clara dropped the ball about our lessons.Sheforgot you were a secret prince, and—”
Sashawent still.“Tell me you didn’t get a beating like that because ofme.”
“No!”Laurie thought about it, memories returning in painfulslow motion.“Actually, no.That wasn’t it.I mean, he wasn’tthrilled, but…he only really lost it when I told him I was…” Theword stuck a bit, but he’d come this far, and he brought it outbravely at last.“When I told him I was gay.”
“Oh.”Sasha finished dabbing the arnica onto his bruises.“I’mpleased he took it so well.”
“Ah, he’s just worried I won’t provide him an heir to hisplutocratic bloody empire.And I didn’t exactly put it like that,I…” He fell silent, a cold grip closing in his chest.How could hehave forgotten?“Sasha…Clara!”Jolting forward, he tried to get outof the bed.“I’ve got to go.”
“Wait,” Sasha commanded him softly, pushing him back.“Do youthink she’s safe enough—just for tonight, anyway?”
“I… I’m not sure.I think so, yes.But I’ve got to get her outof there.”
“You will.Tomorrow you can take on the world, love, startdoing the things you need to do to get you and her clear of thatplace forever.But you’re not going anywhere tonight.”
Thedarozha, for all its bitter scent, tasted sweet.Laurie, who’dcupped his hands around Sasha’s on the bowl to share with himresponsibility for administering the dose, made a face of surprise.“It’s not that bad.”
“Ah.You must really need it.She gave it to me the first nightI came here, when I was sick from the cold and couldn’t sleep.Itried a bit the next night, when I was feeling better, and ittasted of rancid goat.”
Laurienodded.He was picking up a tang of that.It was the texture morethan the taste that was strange to him, as if he were drinkingbarely dissolved leaves and bark.A faint sliminess.Neverthelesshe obediently downed the lot.Sasha took the empty bowl from himand sat watching him as if he expected something to happen.Lauriewaited too.He was about to say sorry—for what, he wasn’t sure;possibly his balame impercipience—when Sasha suddenly reached pasthim and pulled a pillow flat on the mattress.Laurie thought therewas no need for it.He could sit up all night, talking to Sashalike this.The pain in his side and his head, the pain in hisheart, was not just fading but gone.He felt ready foranything.
