Not being together fucking sucks, but I am brainstorming daily for a solution. I am bound by a contract, and I can’t break it just because I want to be with her. Then what? I might end up playingfor another team, but her shop, her friends, her life are here. So, I suck it up and take whatever I can get. For now.
As she takes the food out, I pour sparkling water into our glasses. She has a chicken and rice bowl while I have some plain rice, steak, and grilled vegetables.
As we sit on the sofa, our legs brush together. At the beginning, we just inched away. Now, it’s like we need this bit of physical contact to make it bearable. Or that is what I tell myself. Anything to feed my starved heart and appease my goal-setting mind.
She moans around a forkful and my cock stirs. I have fucking blisters on my hand from jerking off to thoughts of her. My lust takes over and I relive the memory of her sweet moans filling my ears as I slipped inside of her. The memory alone makes me cum harder than any reality with someone else, not to say imagining how it would feel to have her again. I would make her cry out so loud that she’ll never think of teasing me with her moaning for something else.
I adjust my sweatpants, and she chokes on a strip of chicken. Slapping her back, I offer her a napkin. To manage this friendship, we reached a silent agreement. We help each other through theseweakmoments. She has them too.
“You should go to sleep early tonight. We should cut this short,” she murmurs.
“No, I’ll be fine,” I say, voice thick with all the things I’m trying to contain. That our togetherness gives me a modicum of comfort while riding this wave of unease, I tread like an amateur surfer.
“I have an early flight,” she says, but places her cheek on my arm.
The universe must really hate me, and I have no fucking clue why.
I switch my position, taking her down with me. Grabbing the blanket, I slide it over her, tucking us in.
The movie rolls on the TV, but I can’t focus on anything except the woman I hold in my arms. Closing my eyes, I feel her finger grazing my chest.
I open them to find her watching me with doe eyes. “Are you nervous?”
“No, just going mentally through the game.”
She tilts her head, a twinkle flickering in her gaze. “How many touchdowns will be for me?”
I tap the tip of her nose, shaking my head at her, keeping the atmosphere playful. “Greedy girl.”
She slaps my chest playfully, and I nip at her fingertip.
“They’re all for you, flower girl,” I say it solemnly, like a vow I intend to keep.
A contented smile pulls at the corners of her mouth, and she places her face in the crook of my neck, inhaling me—pure torture wrapped in euphoric dreams.
“I like being in your arms,” she whispers.
My arms tighten around her, urging her to say the words and end my misery. There must be a solution to our problem if we put our heads into it.
“I like you in my arms too,” I confess.
“It’s hard at times, but I wouldn’t risk what we have.”
She voices what has become my greatest fear. A deep sigh vibrates in my throat. I’m afraid she’ll get used to us being friends, leaving me permanently thirsty with water just out of reach. So be it.
She kisses my cheek and stands up. “Good luck in the game.”
At the door, she grasps the handle, breathing raggedly, but not glancing back. It’s not the first time she has confessed her feelings and then promptly left, almost as if she were punishing herself for the bout of weakness.
I can’t allow her to do this. Fuck this shit. I am no coward.
“Somewhere in the future, I will come home to you.” My words crash between us with resounding assurance.
Her shoulders droop. “Ian…”
“And I will call you mine, Lilly. You will be mine. So whatever excuse you keep telling yourself, stop it. I can do this for as long as it takes. My determination is unwavering. Your submission is inevitable. Ultimately, you’ll belong to me.”
She slips through the door as silent as a shadow, and I rub a hand down my face. Fuck. What if she retreats? I am so in my head, thinking this will preoccupy me to the point of losing my damn mind when my phone pings with a message.
