My breath hitches. My hands turn clammy. I swallow hard. It takes everything in me to stay rooted in place and not run away and hide.
The longer we keep visual contact, the harder it gets for me to stay composed. There’s this incessant urge to explain, hold on to him. I might faint any moment now with how my blood pressure spikes up and down, making my knees go weak.
Levi elbows him and Ian shakes himself off. Then he turns around, ignoring me.
My heart deflates, flattening in my chest.
We’re done. The end, without the happily ever after part.
SIX
IAN
Lilly isCoach Parker’s daughter. My heart is pounding wildly, catapulting my blood pressure, and making me unsteady on my feet.
Tossing back the drink, I will it to be something hard to numb me rather than accept the reality. The sweet taste, combined with something spicy, instantly invigorates my body, but it does nothing to ease the emotional chaos.
Levi’s brows furrow, eyeing me quizzically. I drag a hand down my face, staring at the opposite wall and wishing for this torture to end. Fuck!This can’t fucking be!
“What do you think?” Coach asks.
His sharp gaze fixates on me, and I try to open my mouth, but it’s impossible to form words. Instead, I nod, forcing a noncommittal sound out of my dry throat.
As Coach explains that he wants to introduce the drinks to our diet, Lilly talks about the health benefits, gesticulating animatedly. I hear the words, but a fog veils my brain, blocking me from thinking straight.
The guys walk toward the door, and I propel myself into action as well, but Coach stops me. “Ian, a word.”
“Sure.”Fucking perfect.
I tear my gaze away from her, terrified my face divulges my emotional turmoil, but I feel her gaze caressing the side of my face. How am I going to face Coach, wanting his daughter but unable to act on it?
It’s as if the obstacles keep piling up. I am one unlucky bastard.
“As the captain, the guys respect you, so I am counting on you.”
I force the words through the lump in my throat. “I’ll do my best, Coach.”
He squeezes my shoulder, and my eyes find hers. She worries her lower lip, an apologetic glance etched in her eyes. There might as well be a billboard displaying the secret between us.
His phone rings, and he excuses himself.
I stare at his back, urging him not to leave me alone with his daughter. Maybe by constantly referring to Lilly as his daughter rather than the woman I desire, will help me establish the necessary boundary. To even entertain the idea of us becoming more would be foolish. Terrible at best. Catastrophic on all accounts.
“Are you okay?” she whispers, approaching me.
A groan reverberates in my throat. “You could have told me.”
“Now you know…”
What she doesn’t say is even more clear. This could never have worked out anyway. Frustration cramps my stomach, tightening my ribcage.
Eyes locked, we watch each other in stilted silence—the hope smothered between us.
One thing prevails as frustration turns to anger. She could have reached out to me if she wanted, but she didn’t. Long before this revelation, she decided the course for us. A decision I must accept.
“Ian, please understand.” Her sweet plea almostundoes me.
I sway my hand between us. “I understand perfectly. You didn’t want this. Rest assured, I won’t bother you.”
