Hopelessly in love, I guess.
Cuddled to my side, her fingers trace along my throwing arm. She kneads the muscles, and I let out a satisfied groan. “You don’t have to do that.”
Her touch weaves magic and the slight discomfort fades away.
“Yes, it must be awful having my hands on you.”
I chuckle and let the ease spread through me.
“The night is not over, so here’s another confession. You, Lilly, are going to be my wife.”
A smile teases her lips. “Am I? Shouldn’t I be your girlfriend first?”
“We move at snail’s speed as it is, and we have some obstacles to overcome. You’re going to go from girlfriend to fiancée to my wife in a very short time,” I say earnestly to prepare her.
Her melodious laughter is the sweetest sound, divine music that’s for my ears only.
She places her cheek on my chest, saying, “It sounds like a dream.”
“Me being where I am today sounded like a dream too at one moment.”
She tilts her head, chewing on her lip. “Would you be that patient?”
Eyes locked, I brush my nose against hers. “Would you be willing to be mine? Because that’s all that matters. I know what I want.”
Mouths so close, we breathe each other in.
“It’s not that easy, and I am not talking about us together. I’m not sure if I could handle the distance. I have my business. I’d have to follow you.”
That’s another obstacle. I could never ask her to do that, but at some point, the decision will have to be made. I have years before I can retire. Her company has just started taking off. What could I offer to compete with that?
TWENTY-FIVE
LILLY
I wakeup wrapped up in Ian—my dreamy cocoon. It’s a pattern we can’t break—destined to give in. This is how we’ll always end up—molded together.
The need goes beyond temptation. Desire doesn’t come close to explaining it. It’s visceral. It’s love.
The talk we had last night plays on repeat in my head. I’d love having it all with him.
I never gave much thought to marriage or children before. It was something I had plenty of time for. I never envisioned a future in either of my previous relationships, but Ian is all my heart yearns for. And we aren’t even officially in a relationship.
Something else stayed with me from our conversation—the implications of us being together. Would I upend my life every time he signs with another team? I’d have to make a home out of different cities. It would mean leaving behind all I know: my father, my friends, my store. But new opportunities would arise. Isn’t one of my biggest goals to open several shops across the country?
It doesn’t sound like a sacrifice. With him, it’s more of a possibility. As if my biggest goal aligns with his career. It sounds perfect, so good that it’s scary—scary good.
The forbidden aspect would vanish once my father is no longer his coach. Two more years.
He might be patient, but that’s a fight I will lose. I am even thinking of a secret relationship just to have him. But that would not do justice to the beauty of our feelings. I pry myself carefully from his warm body.
We must return to normal—our kind of normal, which is draining.
As Ian and I gather our stuff to head out for the day, I say, “Hope today is better than yesterday.”
He scratches his neck, avoiding looking at me. “I hope so too. Don’t know if my shoulder can handle another day like yesterday.”
Tears brim in my eyes. It hurts knowing I am the reason he is being punished.
