He throws his head back, laughing. When his eyes find mine, I witness all the restrained love.
“I had a lot of time to think, and it’s on you.”
I tilt my head, feeling my brows furrow. “What do you mean?”
He scrubs a hand down his face, looking tired. “You know where I stand, Lilly. It’s you for me and no one else. I will find out what’s holding you back and smash that reason to smithereens. But until then, I need you in my life, even if we’re just friends.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
I could slap myself for that.
He offers a strained nod, and I remember he has practice tomorrow. “You should go to bed.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Good night, reckless boy.”
“Good night, flower girl.”
After we hang up, I scroll through the TV, settling on a reality show, getting lost in the drama of other people until my eyes droop.
Afterward, I crawl into bed, thinking it’s on me this time.
I am afraid that one day, the reason I keep holding us back won’t matter.
Ian callson his way home from minicamp. “I can’t wait to see you,” he says, voice ringing with barely contained eagerness.
It hits me what an awful person I have been. He has abandonment issues, and I just cut him off.
My heart pounds to the point of hyperventilation, each beat thumping with guilt. I just want to crawl into a hole, punishing myself for my selfishness.
“Get ready to be culinarily spoiled,” I say, trying to put a cheer in my tone.
I promise myself right here and now, he’ll never be without me again. It will take a force that is beyond me to leave his life again.
I head to the kitchen, humming to the soft music playing in the background. After preparing the dish, I place it in the oven, and then I prepare a parfait for dessert.
The wine chills in the bottle. Everything is ready for his return.
This resembles more of a date, but the line is so crossed over, it’s irrelevant.
The knock sends a surge of delight through me.He’s here.
My pulse spikes, and I palm my chest to make the unruly muscle behave. Three days of not seeing him have been brutal.
Opening the door, I jump into his arms, undone to my core. I’ve learned nothing. But in his arms, my world is all right. Nothing is missing. Nothing else is needed.
He wraps his arms around me, cocooning me in blissfulness. Placing a kiss between my neck and shoulder, I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to force back tears. That’s his spot and goose bumps awaken on my feverish skin.
He lowers me down and sniffs around. “That smells delicious.”
“I told you that you’ll get culinarily spoiled.” I grin.
His eyes darken revealing he would like to indulge in something else.
Oh, how I would like that… him to spread me open like a buffet and have his way with me.
He takes his sweater off, offering me the perfect forearm porn. The conflict is real.
