I had almost died three times, and apparently three times was enough to seal it, enough to make me see death.
That was why I had been seeing ghosts.
I had been seeing Lily as a little blonde girl because that was how she had been buried. I had been seeing Viviane because she had died that way. And the others were all the ones who had died here.
I had been right all along. I was one of them. Not because I was truly dead, but because a part of me had died with her that day.
I open my eyes and see Lily walking away.
“You can be Lily now,” she says. “I’m tired of being Lily all the time.”
She smiles. “It can be our game.”
Except, life isn’t a game. It’s life, and mine was taken away. Suddenly, by accident, by some force I still can’t name. And I’m here, flesh and bone, while my soul feels like it belongs somewhere else.
I notice Nathaniel approaching. He moves closer, then kneels beside me.
“I’m Lily,” I sniffle. “I remember now. Aurelia died that day.” Tears spill down my cheeks.
He steps back for a moment, straightening, his hands falling into his pockets.
“What do you mean?”
“You noticed it yourself. I was different,” I say. “I was never meant to live her life, and yet I’m here, and she’s not.”
“Don’t say that,” he says, coming closer again.
“And if you had to choose,” I ask, my voice breaking, “if you could save her instead of me, would you?”
“No,” he says instantly. “Even if I could turn back time, I would choose you over and over again. Even if you were someone else.”
“Why?”
“Because you are the one I fell in love with. The one who protected me from my grandfather when he beat me. The one who was there every time I needed someone to call.” He pulls me closer. “And you answered every time.”
He wipes my tears away and cups my cheeks. “You can keep living her life a little longer, or you can finally live yours. It’s up to you.”
He reaches for a white rose beside the pavilion and places it in my hand. “Do you know what I love about roses?”
He smiles softly. “They have thorns to protect themselves, and they still bloom into something beautiful.”
“Do you love white ones because they remind you of apologies?” I ask.
“No.” He kisses my forehead. “They’re meant for new beginnings.”
I press the rose close to my face, seeing life a little differently now.
Twenty-One
AURELIA
It was supposed to be just a normal day. Dasha came to visit with Masha. They still aren’t together, but I can see how much love sits between them.
Margaret is making tea, and Victor has just brought in fresh flowers from the garden. We all had a long conversation last night. Now that everything has finally been settled, Victor will go to Spain, buy a house, visit his mother and brother. Margaret will stay here, exactly where she wants to be.
And it should all feel right. It should all be the way it’s meant to be.
But then the doorbell rings.
