And the worst part is… I think I like it.
I’ve never felt this way before. My whole life, it was just Daniel. But I never burned for him like this. Never wanted more. Never found myself replaying moments, craving them, hating myself for it.
Now I do. For a stranger. For the way he made me feel.
I press my fingers to my lips.
I think I’m addicted.
I know his name now. But I still don’t know who he truly is.
I know he kept his promises. So, I have to keep mine.
A piece of paper is in front of me, edges already crumpled from how many times I’ve picked it up and put it down. Ten ways to kill him and get away with it. I can write the steps. But when I try to picture actually doing it, my hands go still.
I wouldn’t be able to.
What is wrong with me?
I drag in a breath and force my eyes away from the list.
The table in front of me is worse. There are bones scattered across the surface.
I sit here, staring at them, trying to make sense of human anatomy in seconds. I mixed Daniel and Lilibeth bones together in the same box last night. And now I have to separate them.
My fingers hover over them before I start separating piece by piece. I try to remember what belongs to who, but everything looks the same after a while. Everything feels the same.
Dasha mentioned once she had a friend in the police. An idea came to me that maybe her friend can check if Daniel’s bones truly belong to him or did Nathaniel lie to me.
I need to know if he’s really gone.
Because until I do, I won’t be able to breathe without wondering if he’s out there somewhere… waiting to come back.
I lift each bone, one by one, turning it in my hands. In some logic in my head, I start to separate them. The bigger ones go to the right. The smaller ones to the left. The only bone that’s already on the left is the one with her wedding ring still looped around it.
I swallow and look away.
I have to finish this before the mailman comes. I have to send it to Dasha.
My fingers hover over the piles again. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never done anything like this before. I press my thumb against one bone, then another, measuring them against my own fingers like that will somehow make it clearer.
It doesn’t.
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. My hands drop to my head, fingers dragging through my hair, pulling it back from my face as I squeeze my eyes shut for a second.
Focus.
I reach for the last bone and place it on the right side.
That has to be it.
The rest… I just assume they belong to Lilibeth. I don’t let myself think too hard about it as I gather them, and slide them into a plastic bag. Daniel’s remains go into the box.
I stand, grab the tape, and seal the box shut, running my palm over the top.
Done.
I step back, then sit down again, picking up the pen. And I start to write to Dasha.
