“Thank you for paying for the funeral and the hospital bills.”
“Of course.” Martha stands up and taps my hand twice. “I’m sorry we can’t do more.”
“Best of luck,” William says as she slips her hand under his arm.
“Thank you,” I say.
I turn away and slowly lower myself back into the bed, holding the notebook Dasha gave me.
It’s a strange feeling; knowing everyone around me knew what was going on, and they all kept it from me like I wouldn’t understand, like I was too fragile to hear the truth.
They kept me inside this bubble, thinking if I knew, I would somehow break. But that bubble had cracks, so many cracks.
And every one of them was already close to breaking long before I saw the truth.
Now it just feels like I was alone the whole time. While they stood around me, pretending I still had training wheels attached to me, teaching me how to walk for the first time.
1. Little one
Three
AURELIA
Somehow morning had already come. A nurse was here an hour ago with a doctor to give me my discharge papers. They left a bag with the clothes I wore the night of the accident.
I’ve been staring at it for twenty minutes now.
Inside is the silver dress, folded neatly, and Daniel’s black blazer he gave me because I was too cold. On top of it, in a smaller bag, rests a gold necklace with a tiny heart medallion and a silver engagement ring with a solitaire diamond.
I loved Daniel. I really did. I fell in love with him once. Somehow, that love slowly faded until it felt more like a contract everyone expected me to fulfill. And I did. I’m the perfect example of what a people pleaser looks like. And by the time Irealized they were the least important people I needed to please, it was already too late.
I had sacrificed my own happiness for theirs. I hated myself for it.
They say your first love either stays with you forever or teaches you a lesson. For me, it was a lesson. I just still don’t know what it was supposed to teach me.
Daniel wasn’t a horrible person. He was a good man. But sometimes even good men do bad things to the people they love. At some point you stop seeing the good when the bad starts happening a little too often.
My gaze drifts to the clock. It’s 8:30 a.m.
I slide my legs off the bed and stand. Pain spreads through my body with the first step. It comes sharp, but I swallow it down and keep walking toward the bathroom.
When I reach the sink, I grip the porcelain and slowly lift my head. It’s the first time I’ve seen myself in the mirror since I woke up.
My hair is a mess, all tangled and dull. The cinnamon color is still there, but darker somehow. Like the shine has been washed out of it. My skin looks pale and tired. And my eyes…
My eyes look the same. They lost their glow a long time ago.
Tears fill them anyway, blurring the girl staring back at me. I blink them away. My mom wouldn’t want me to cry.
I slide the hospital gown off my shoulders and let it fall to the floor.
The bruises are gone now. In their place are thin scars that trace my skin like a memory. They will follow me everywhere.
I reach for the silver dress and pull it on. The fabric slips over my body too easily. It hangs on me now.
When I look back into the mirror, I hesitate. I don’t recognize myself. This girl isn’t the Aurelia Vale I knew.
I close my eyes. My lower lip trembles as I exhale, fighting the pressure building in my chest. People think I’m lucky to be alive. But that thought feels impossible to believe.
