“Yeah, me too.” He looks on wistfully, and I wonder what he’s thinking about. “You need to clear your head over Cam?”
I stare at him like a deer caught in the headlights. “W-what do you mean?”
Lev shakes his head and laughs. “I’m perceptive, Zhuri. Cam’s been different so far this season, and his eyes are always on you.”
“No,” I reply quickly. “There’s nothing going on between us.”
He holds his hands up. “I’m not going to breathe a word, I promise. A no-fraternization clause doesn’t make sense when you put men and women together on the same team.”
I take a deep breath. “Has anyone else noticed?”
“Not that I know of,” he shakes his head.
“Thank God.” I let out a sigh of relief. “Nothing has actually happened between us, but it’s hard wanting someone you can’t have.”
“Don’t I fucking know it,” he mutters. I eye him curiously, and he continues. “I still want my ex, but she broke up with me right before she left for college. Coincidentally, today is the sixth anniversary of her leaving.”
I hum in acknowledgment. “That’s why you’re here to clear your head.
“Yeah,” he sighs. “You and Cam decided I wasMost likely to marry their high school sweetheart,but that won’t happen for me. She left me after four years. I don’t regret the time we had together, but I do still miss her.”
“I’m sorry, Lev.”
He shrugs and tries to downplay the way this is still obviously affecting him. “That’s life, isn’t it? Last I heard, she’s still back home in Chicago working on her Master’s degree.”
“Well, I can definitely say my situation is far from the same, but we can commiserate together, Morozov.”
Lev laughs before putting his helmet back on. “If we’re here together, we may as well practice together. Take some shots at me. Easier for me to practice when someone else is here.”
“You don’t need any damn practice,” I grumble, grabbing my stick and following him toward the net. “I think I’ve gotten like one damn puck past you.”
“Not sorry,” he calls over his shoulder, and I rumble with laughter.
Lev and I have entirely different situations, but we’re still in the same place—wanting the person we can’t have.
And I think his talk of not having regrets is giving me a little bit of needed clarity.
I like Cameron; that much is obvious now.
So will I regret never going for it if we don’t try? Or will I regret trying if it all blows up in the end?
That I still have to figure out.
thirty-two
Cameron
Cameron
Hey, Z
Zhuri
Hi, Cam
Cameron
I’m guessing you made it home safely last night
