I took a sip of my drink.
“She’s an ally,” I said. “She’s saved my ass. I’ve saved hers. She’s good in a fight.”
“Uh-huh,” he said. “That why you’re still wearing the same expression you had on your face when Quinn saw me walk into the clubhouse?”
I glanced at him. “What expression is that?”
“The ‘oh thank fuck, my safe place made it through the door’ one,” he said.
My grip on the glass tightened.
“It’s war,” I said. “You latch onto anyone who doesn’t make you want to punch a wall sometimes. Doesn’t mean anything.”
“Yeah. I call bullshit. I can feel the heat. I know you Evan,” he said as he leaned in to look at me. “I know you better than yourself. Don’t dismiss this. There’s more to it. I can see it in your eyes.”
I knew he wouldn’t believe me.
“Even if…” I hesitated, hated that my voice did the same thing. “Even if there was something there, it’s not simple. We’re both enforcers in two different clubs. Two different presidents. Two different sets of shit to answer to. It’s not like we can just ride off into the fucking sunset.”
“Nobody’s asking you to put her on your bike and drive away,” Miami said. “I’m saying the world is on fire and you’re acting like you’re scared to get burnt.”
“It’s not that—”
He cut me off with a look that shut my mouth more effectively thanany hand.
“Look at me,” he said.
I did.
“Today, I’m standing in this room with a rebuilt leg, amongst my family, with another chance,” he said. “Days ago, I was in the road with that bike in pieces and a hitman trying to finish the job in a hospital. You think I planned for any of that? You think I had time to make sense of it before it just happened?”
“No,” I said quietly.
“You think Raptor woke up and thought, ‘This is the day I bleed out on a club floor staring at the ceiling?” Miami asked. “No. Shit doesn’t schedule itself around your comfort level, Jersey. It just hits. And then either you’re still here or you’re not.”
He took another sip, winced as it went down, then continued.
“You care about her,” he said. “I can see it. She cares about you. I can see that too, even with my half-busted ass. She watches the door when you walk out like she’s counting the seconds until you come back. She stood in our Church and put her reputation on the table for us. She risked her life in Dante’s club for us. Don’t stand here and tell me that’s nothing because the patches don’t match.”
I stared at the bar.
“At some point, this war is going to end,” he went on. “Either because we won or because we’re dead. If we’re still breathing when the smoke clears, you really want to look back and realize the only reason you didn’t reach for the one good thing that came outof all this was because you were worried about fictional logistics?”
“It’s not fictional,” I said, stubborn even as something in my chest twisted. “There would be logistics. Territory. Time. Who lives where. Who answers to who. What happens if the clubs ever end up on opposite sides of something. That’s not nothing.”
“Then you figure it out when it happens,” he said simply. “You talk to Blackjack. She talks to Liberty. You make it work or you don’t. But you at least try. Because if you don’t, someday you’ll be lying on your back staring at a hospital ceiling or a club floor or a fucking ditch and the only thing in your head is going to be ‘I should’ve done something when I had the chance.’”
He let that sit.
“You can prep your routes. You can clean your guns. You can study ledgers until the ink blurs,” he said. “You can’t prep for the moment a bullet finds you. Or the moment it finds her. Life waits for no one. Not you. Not me. Not anyone in this room.”
My throat felt tight. I swallowed hard.
“You done?” I asked, but it came out softer than I meant.
“No. Not yet,” he said. “Because for the record? If Quinn had walked into my life in any other context, any territory, or any type of patch combination, and I knew then what I know now? I still would’ve put my hands on her and not let go from day one. Myonly regret is that I wish I had found her sooner. You know why?”
“Because you’re obsessive,” I said, trying to take some of the edge off.
